Page 8 of A Fierce Archer

“Stay here. Don’t ye dare come inside, ye hear me?” Audra screamed. Then she walked in with a bairn on her hip and another two attached to her skirts.

“Dear sister, I am so happy to see...” Audra stopped talking and looked down to the silent children grasping her clothes. “I’m...sorry, I didn’t mean to bring these two inside.”

“It’s fine,” Catriona said, nearing and taking the babe from her sister. “Finally, a girl.”

Audra sighed and went to the table. She peeled one of the two boys from her clothes and placed him in a chair. The one remaining at her side clutched her leg. She tugged him off, but he managed to reattach himself. Finally, she gave up and blew out a breath. “Ye feel better then?”

“A bit,” Catriona admitted as she swayed with the babe in her arms. “I am striving to move forward as much as I can. Although, at times, I am still very fearful.”

Her parents exchanged worried glances. Her mother began pouring drinks into cups and placed them in front of each of them.

The awkward silence made Catriona realize her family wanted more answers that she wasn’t prepared to give. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she wasn’t sure what the future held.

“I plan to remain at the keep for now. I am helping with mending and such for the additional guards who came from Clan Ross. Also, it helps to be with Lady Fraser.”

“What of yer life outside remaining cloistered?” Audra began, but then stopped. “Forgive me, I have no right to ask.”

“Ye have every right,” Catriona replied, reaching out to clutch her sister’s hand. “I wish I knew the answer. I am not sure it is possible for me to ever have a normal life again. Although I do wish it, I just can’t.”

Her mother sighed. “Ye need time. I believe ye will get through this. Ye are very brave to have come here today.”

The rest of the day went quickly. There was only one time that Catriona became anxious. Someone knocked on the door, a man calling out that children had let his chickens out. The irate man demanded Audra control the boys. Both her mother and Audra rushed out to call the boys, who ran in circles, scaring the birds away instead of helping to collect them.

Catriona watched from the window as her mother and sister managed to find the birds. While she was distracted, the toddlers left behind had come up to her and were now clutching her skirts. One was sucking his thumb and the other was staring up at her.

After promising to find ways to see each other more often, Audra and her brood left. Her mother let out a breath and leaned back in a chair. “Audra needs help. Perhaps she should hire an older, stricter governess for the boys. They need a firm hand.”

Despite feeling overly tired and ready to leave, Catriona helped her mother clean and prepare supper. Just as she sat down to rest, Lady Fraser arrived.

Her mother and Lady Fraser exchanged pleasantries. It was obvious by their conversation, they saw each other often. Apparently, every time Lady Fraser came to the village, she stopped by for a visit.

“I will come to visit ye in a few days,” her mother said as they hugged goodbye a little while later. “I will bring back some of the mending to do here. There are far too many guardsmen for ye to be the only one doing the task.”

“One of the maids also helps, but we could certainly use another pair of hands,” Catriona assured her. “I look forward to yer visit, Mother.”

As soon as they arrived back at the keep, Catriona immediately sought the refuge of her bedchamber. When asked, she refused an invitation by Lady Fraser and Ava Fraser, Keithen’s wife, to come to the sitting room. She preferred the quiet and stillness of her own private space.

It had been a huge undertaking to leave the keep after over a year. Despite the joy of seeing her family and doing her best to pay attention to their conversation, it had been tiring pretending to be well.

The longer she remained in the prison of her own making, the more power she gave to the animals who’d attacked her. And yet, the night terrors and the flashes of the horrible days in captivity remained clear and present.

Letting out an annoyed groan, she tore her clothing off with shaky fingers. Then placing one foot in front of the other, she slowly approached the tall mirror. Her entire body shook when she reached for the cloth draped over it, and before she could change her mind, Catriona tore it away.

At first, all she looked at was her face. She noted that the hairstyle she wore, a braid wrapped around her head, was not particularly flattering. Forcing her gaze to travel down, she noted the first mark that had not been there before. Puckered skin at the base of the right side of her neck. A bite? Or perhaps fingernails had dug into her skin there. How could she remember every single time she’d been hurt?

Moving away from the mark, she looked to her chest next. Had her skin always been so pale? No, she and Esme had often laid out next to the creek and sunned themselves. Sometimes, they’d removed all their clothing, except for their shifts to allow the sunshine to kiss their bare skin.

On her left breast was another mark. This one was clearly a bite mark. Catriona’s breath caught and she looked away, attempting to calm the sudden lack of air. If she was to become stronger and push it all to the past, then every single mark would be seen. Once that was completed, she would be able to forge forward.

She remembered exactly what happened when looking at the third mark. This one was a healed cut that ran from just under her right breast to the side. One of the guardsmen had cut her with the tip of his dirk when she’d kicked him.

Neither their faces nor their voices did she attempt to recall because they did not deserve any space in her mind. Then turning away from the mirror, she looked over her shoulder. Remarkably, there wasn’t any other scarring.

Once again, Catriona faced the mirror and scanned herself. The only other scar was on her left knee. Her lips curved at noting the jagged old scar that her mother had sewn together after she’d fallen out of a tree at ten years old.

Keithen had chased her and Esme with a dead rat.

He’d gotten a proper spanking for it, much to her and Esme’s delight. When he’d walked past them rubbing his bottom, they’d followed after him, taunting him until he’d ran and hid.