Page 62 of The Eagle

“Do ye love him?” Lady Mariel asked.

“I do,” Cait admitted noting that Gideon had not stopped eating and was oblivious to the conversation.

“Then ye should tell him. One of ye has to put pride aside if ye wish to have a life together.”

Cait walked out of the dining room unsure of where to go. A part of her needed to be outdoors, another urged her to hide in her bedchamber and cry.

She chose to go outside.

Chapter Seventeen

Stuart paced across the front of the stables. The crisp air helped to cool his temperament, but only a bit. He was too angry to do much more than continue walking back and forth, the dirt crushing under his leather boots.

Darach appeared from the house and Stuart braced himself for whatever lecture was forthcoming. He began to wish not to have come at all. He should have accepted that Cait no longer wished to marry him.

His brother’s purposeful steps made short work of the courtyard. When close enough to speak, Darach’s expression was warm. “It hurts me when ye or any of our brothers hurt. I wish I could take it away.”

If not for being outdoors, Stuart would have embraced his brother tightly. Instead, he swallowed past the huge lump in his throat the words had brought. “Thank ye, Darach. I suppose ye have to learn that every one of us will have to traverse both hills and valleys.”

“I am not prepared for being a father,” Darach admitted. “If what I feel for ye, Ewan, Gideon, Duncan, Ella, and even Calean is any indication, I will surely go mad.”

“Ye will be an extraordinary father to the wee bairn.”

“Cait loves ye Stuart,” Darach said. “However, she is hurt, and it makes her reluctant to give in.”

“I love yer as well. I do not have any idea what to do.”

“Do not flee. If ye can learn anything from my experience with Isobel, and Duncan’s with Beatrice, know that going away is not the answer right now.”

Stuart chuckled without mirth. “Why do we all run away at the most important times in our life?”

“A family trait?” Darach said shaking his head.

“Like both ye and Duncan, I must seek redemption and pray that the woman I love forgives me.”

“She will. She loves ye,” Darach said turning to the house. “Are ye going back inside?”

“In a moment. I must walk some and clear my head first.”

While walking through the trees, Stuart considered how much he missed the familiar landscape. He’d spent his entire life there, traipsing through the forest with his brothers. First, playing games as children then later hunting as men.

There were so many memories scattered throughout the woods and on past at the village. However, it was time to move on and forge his future, but he was glad to be close enough to be able to visit.

He’d been a fool. It was clear to him now that he should have done more than send a missive or message here and there. Instead of assuming, he should have asked Cait what she wished to do. And though he suspected where she’d prefer to live, she should have been part of remodeling the larger home to help make the decision clearer.

It hurt that she barely gave any acknowledgment for all he’d done. Then he realized, she had no idea what he’d been doing apart from what he’d written in his letter. The notes had been short, mostly a small passage about the house, with closing comments about missing her, wishing her well, and an assurance he would return soon. In return, her letters had told him of her days, of missing him and wishing for him to come and see her.

All along, she’d been asking for him to visit, to see him and he’d been too intent on the house and the land. He didn’t shoulder all the blame, because she could have come and visited when one of his brothers traveled to his lands. At the same time, she was new to life as a member of the laird’s family and probably not used to asserting herself.

A deer appeared and looked at him for a moment before scampering off into the trees. Stuart looked after it and for a moment was a bit jealous of the animal’s freedom.

It shook him to realize that he’d been free of any responsibility most of his life and yearned for what he had now. The responsibility of lands, servants, a village, and a wife. Was it possible that he too had to learn to be different?

When arriving at a clearing, he lowered to a fallen tree and closed his eyes. The last time he’d been at that particular spot, he and Cait had been together. It was the day he’d realized beyond a doubt that he loved the pretty lass.

She’d changed so much since he left. No longer meek and trying to fade into the background, the new Cait was a graceful beauty. Upon entering the parlor that morning, he’d almost not recognized her and started to introduce himself. Once he looked closer, his Cait was still there, only now she looked even more stunning than the beauty he’d left behind.

Before he’d left, she’d had a hard time hiding her awareness of him, now she was aloof and distant, and he had no idea what she was thinking.