Page 32 of A Rogue to Cherish

Chapter Twelve

“Isuppose it is my turn now to come up with my funds,” Lord Miles Johnstone said in a bored tone. “The timing could not be worse.”

Evan, Henry, and Grant gave the peer time to continue, each with a whiskey in hand as they relaxed in the comfort of Evan’s parlor. Grant’s sister and brother-in-law had just returned from their holiday, and the group had immediately convened to discuss the rapidly upcoming deadline for the sponsorship.

“In two weeks, I must meet with Captain MacFarland and pay for the sponsorship,” Evan stated. “I do request at least two of you come with me. I do not like the idea of carrying so much money to the shipyards.”

Henry stretched and crossed his legs at the ankle. “You should send word and meet elsewhere. It is too risky. Each day we hear of different crimes committed at the shipyards. Men dressed like us are certain to attract attention.”

“Very true,” Grant added. “Perhaps his home would be better.”

“I will send a message a day or two prior to the deadline. In the meantime, bring the capital here. I will place it into the safe.”

They turned to Miles, who’d yet to utter a word. Instead, he swirled the amber liquid in his glass and watched it until it settled. “The woman I planned to seduce has found a lover and seems quite enamored. I must find another.”

In spite of his words, no one was concerned about Miles, who had more than doubled his fortune since taking the helm over the family’s accounts. The man was a genius when it came to finances. It was only because he enjoyed making wagers that he even cared to come up with a sum to obtain. All the men knew that it was a pittance for him and easily available even without needing a woman to seduce.

“I am sure it will be too easy a task for you, whether you have a week or a day,” Grant said, studying his friend. “You seem glum. Or should I say, glummer than usual. Is something amiss?”

Miles’ gaze lifted slowly to his. “Duties that must be performed on a regular basis. Attending this social gathering, a dance, or even the dreadful picnics by the loch, is tiring. I wish for nothing more than to go away to the country and not see people for an entire season.”

If his family had such an estate, Grant would be a hermit, rarely leaving the country for the busyness of city life.

“What stops you?” Henry asked, leaning forward in his chair. “From leaving for a bit?”

“My sister’s debut,” Miles stated with a frown. “I can’t very well allow her outing into society to be without someone to look out for her best interests.” He held out his glass for a refill and Grant poured more whiskey into it. Then he continued, “Father would settle her with the first man who has a title and with no regard for the man’s financial status. Meanwhile, Mother yearns for a sop who will fall at Penelope’s feet and profess his love.”

Evan studied Miles. “Attending all the required events works in your favor. It gives you ample opportunities to find the woman from whom you will reap monetary rewards.”

“True,” Miles replied. “There is the slight problem of how to acquire the funds without there being rumors that my family is ruined. It is a tightrope I must walk.”

As their conversation continued, Evan wrote a note that would be delivered to the ship’s captain; once it was completed, they settled down to play a game of rummy.

However, Grant’s mind was not on the game and several times, he had to refocus just to keep up. He couldn’t shake the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach of how he’d acquired the funds. Just as his father had warned him, he could feel an ever-growing and lingering cloud of shame and disgust over his head. He knew it would be there until he repaid Lucinda for every single cent.

Never before had his lifestyle bothered him in the least. Other than the seduction that had caused a rift with his father, which was the one tryst he’d always regretted, every one since had been an arrangement of sorts. And he’d been honest with the women.

Even Lucinda. He had spoken about the venture, and had informed her he did not have the amount required to invest. She had, of her own free will, gifted him the money. Perhaps his distaste lay in the fact that he disliked the woman and did not plan to attend any more of her vile soirees—if one could call them that. Nor did he plan to sleep with her again.

He shook his head, garnering the attention of his companions. “I am confused,” he began and then said to them aloud what he’d been thinking, and admitted his feelings regarding how he’d gained the funds.

The men put the cards aside. Each one ponders his words. That they did not chide, jest, or belittle the admission assured him that they were undeniably true friends.

“I do believe our man is maturing,” Henry said with a smile. Despite the man being younger than him by a pair of years, and only recently turned from his carefree life of leisure, Henry was indeed a changed man. Instead of spending his days avoiding his duties to the family estate and holdings, he was now an equal partner with his father, proving to be quite talented at financial dealings.

Evan spoke next. “You should return the money. Nothing is worth the cost of a burdened mind. Between the four of us, we can lend you the money.”

Miles choked on his drink. “Thank you for volunteering me.” He coughed again and Grant pounded him on the back.

“You have more money than Midas. You know you can afford it,” Henry teased. “Besides. I agree with Evan. Grant should return the money to that horrid woman.”

“You slept with her, and attended her gatherings. In my opinion, you are owed double the amount you’d requested from her, just for that,” Miles replied with an uptick of his chin. “I suggest you just pay her back upon the ship’s return as planned.”

The conversation continued, each man detailing why Grant deserved the money. Although he expected that they would help him if he returned the money, he wondered if perhaps it was best that he follow the original plan, and wait as Miles suggested.

His thoughts went to Wren. Her humble life and honest way of earning a living made her much more honorable than he’d ever be. She was happy and fulfilled, without the burden of self-loathing that he carried. In that moment he envied her. He was afforded the best of everything, a grand home, tailored clothing, servants, and he had a bank account, and yet, none of it had he acquired by his own honest labor. Everything had been given to him due to his appearance, his attention and favors spent on vain women who used him for their own gratification. And he’d allowed it to happen, and even encouraged it.

Standing abruptly, he walked to the windows and stared unseeingly out into the darkness. The lack of light was reminiscent of how he felt inside at that moment.

It was only when he spent time with Wren that he felt lighter. The innocent, unselfish delight she took in simple things like the flowers of the garden or the journal he’d gifted her made him happier than he’d been in years. He wanted to do more for her, to spend more time with her.

“I know that look.” Miles stood a few yards away, his gaze missing nothing. “It belongs to a man in love.”

Grant’s breath caught. “No. Of course not.”

He neared to study Grant more intently, his right eyebrow lifting. “Who is she?”

“She’s… There’s no one.” Was he in love? Even if he was, did he wish to admit it yet, to these men? They would laugh, perhaps, or worse, try to talk him out of the feelings Wren inspired. They were too dear to share, something he wished to consider in private. He turned away. “I bid you all good night. I must see to something early tomorrow morning.”