Page 4 of The Last Knight

She let out a breath. “After Zina made the announcement about them moving in together and then asked me to be a bridesmaid, it made me angry, and probably jealous. I don’t want to be her fucking bridesmaid. I don’t want to ever be a bridesmaid again. Why does everyone automatically ask me to be in their wedding? It’s almost like they pity me.”

“I didn’t ask you to be in my wedding,” Erin whispered.

“That’s because you didn’t want a traditional wedding. Otherwise, I know you would have insisted on it.” Aubrey looked up to the ceiling. “I am not making any sense am I?”

With a soft smile, Erin took Aubrey’s hand. “I know exactly how you feel. And no, you’re not being petty. It sucks to see everyone around you finding a partner. It was exactly how I felt when all my friends found partners, except I had you.”

“I don’t have you. Not anymore,” Aubrey whispered. “Your husband should be your priority, and although I know you will always be there for me, it isn’t the same. It never will be.”

Silence fell over them, there was nothing to be said, because both knew that it was true. It didn’t matter if they saw each other every day, Erin was a married woman now, the invisible yet very tangible line that should not be crossed was drawn.

Over the years they’d had all matter of conversations at that table. They’d discussed clothes, music, boys. Had laughed, cried and mourned in that room, with and without other members of the family. It seemed only right that this latest chapter, the beginning of a new way of life was discussed there.

“Don’t suggest I start dating,” Aubrey said holding up a hand. “Zina began suggesting single men Jeffrey knew after the bridesmaid comment.” She rolled her eyes. “As if moving in with a guy makes her a relationship expert.”

Erin laughed. “She has always claimed to be an expert on all matters of the heart. You know she means no harm.”

“I know,” Aubrey acquiesced. Glancing over to the kitchen counter, she spoke again. “I am going to make a yummy dinner for you both tonight. Go rest up.”

After Erin left the kitchen, Aubrey went to her bedroom and retrieved her journal, with her journal in hand and a square wicker basket filled with pens and journalling ephemera, she returned to the kitchen table.

In truth, she had little to complain about. Hers was a blessed life. No financial worries. Thanks to her father’s shrewd investments, there was a healthy trust fund for her. She was well physically and had the freedom to do work she adored. If anything was missing, it was undoubtedly her own choice, as she’d always turned down any matchmaking efforts. Not to mention, she rarely paid any mind to men in her proximity.

Sliding the cap from her favorite fountain pen, she began writing a list of what changes she had to make in order to feel more fulfilled with her life.

On the first line, she wrote…“be more open to opportunities to meet a nice man.”