Page 26 of Knot Your Pawn

“Let Caleb take care of things on the pack side, together with Jorge, they balance well and Jorge’s not good with the darker sides of the organisation. Spread organisation things between yourself, Vera and Riley. Vera has picked up a lot of admin and communication tasks already, and she’s good at them. Riley knows the more practical side of your job. She might have to get used to working in a team, but I don’t see a reason why that won’t work.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you now telling me what to do?”

“No. I’m confirming what you already know. I believe we’ve known each other long enough for that.” He grins. “And, if not, you can always just get rid of me.”

When I don’t say anything, Derrick lets out an impatient sound. “You’re not protecting them, or yourself, by not relying on them more. Hell, it took me way too long to appoint Miles to a higher position. But now that he’s taken over a lot of your and your pack’s personal security, I suddenly have time for other things again. Things like my family, my pack, my mates. Things that are important in life.”

My mates…

I suddenly have a family to worry about.

And I can’t do that alone.

And I definitely can’t protect them on my own.

Why are these things so complicated?

And why do I dread even thinking about sharing some of my responsibilities with the rest of the pack?

Well, I know why.

I like control too much.

And that’s a flaw, not a virtue, in this line of work.

11

Vera

“Can I help you with dinner?” I lean against the counter as Eli is chopping cucumbers.

There’s a big stack of vegetables and meat on the counter on his other side. The other kitchen staff are here to help him, but even then, that’s a lot of food to prepare and I want to do something that doesn’t require too much from my brain right now.

He turns to me, smiling, though it’s tired. “Do you want to chop or cook?”

“Chop.” It means less thinking and less chances of me accidentally hurting myself by touching something I’m not supposed to, and I don’t want to hang over a pan that might make me feel sick or even warmer than I already feel.

“Grab any of the veggies, chop small. You know where everything is.” He watches me grab what I need and then goes over to the other staff, checking in with them.

I go for the courgettes first, they’re nice and easy. I stack them next to my cutting board and start cutting them into small cubes.

First, slicing into disks, then stacking the disks to cut them into strips and then cubing those strips. It’s simple work that I don’t have to think about.

By the time I’ve done four of them, Eli comes over, putting his cutting board next to mine, moving onto tomatoes.

“How are you keeping up?” His voice is quiet, though it’s not like it’s easy for the others to overhear us in the noisy kitchen.

“I don’t know. There’s a lot going on and I haven’t had time to really think about all of it.” I throw some more courgette cubes into a bowl, taking a few moments to stare at them.

“And your pregnancy? Going okay today?”

I nod. “I’ve mostly been fine.” I let out a soft laugh. “I’m glad that the baby doesn’t seem to mind blood, or last night would have been a lot worse.” I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if I’d also gotten sick on top of the rest of the mess in that room…

That would have been horrible to clean.

That makes Eli smile too. “I guess the baby takes after Caleb, because Jorge isn’t that good with blood.”

I flash him a grin. “Or maybe my genes are more dominant.”