Page 39 of The Golden Receiver

I stopped a few paces away from him. “It’s stupid,” I told him with a shake of my head. “I’m probably being paranoid.”

“What about?”

“I think Reyes and Willis are conspiring against me. Not just them,” I told him. It sounded like absolute bullshit the moment the words came from my lips. It was one thing to think it, to toss it over in my head, but the moment I said it out loud, I sounded paranoid. I sounded like I was looking for a scapegoat for my own bad performance.

Shit, I sounded like Evander after our first game when he ripped me a new one in front of our coaches.

“It’s probably nothing,” I decided. I was being just as paranoid as he’d been. Maybe I’d been missing little things. I should have seen the safety coming last week. I shouldn’t have just depended on the guard to pick up the block at practice this week. I was getting in my head, and I was making careless mistakes.

“You’ve noticed it too?” Evander asked.

Wait. What?

“I’m probably being paranoid.”

“I don’t think you are,” Evander clarified. He sounded as concerned as he looked. “I told you I’ve heard your name come up between Reyes and Willis at practice, right?” I nodded. “They’re not the only two. I’ve heard a few of the o-line mention you, and then yesterday in practice, you took that hit when Dobson didn’t block fast enough.”

Okay, so he’d seen that too? He’d thought it was just as strange as I did.

“You don’t think I’m being paranoid then?”

“No, I don’t. I think they have a problem with a human coming in and earning a starting role.” He shifted from side to side. “If you want… I mean…” He rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t need a supernatural sense of smell to see that he was anxious, but I figured if I had one, he’d be smelling pretty sour himself.

“Spit it out, Evander.” I could not deal with him twitching about all nervously. It was making me anxious.

“I can try listening in to what they’re saying. Tell you if they’re actually saying anything bad about you?”

I almost laughed at the offer. I didn’t need someone eavesdropping. “Nah,” I brushed it off. “I just need to do better. Make it where no matter what they do, I just play better.”

I was determined. Now that someone else told me I wasn’t just being paranoid, I was pissed. Being pissed could be really motivating. I looked over at Evander and then down the dark trail. “Can we run now?”

“Almost.”

I raised an eyebrow, but I got my answer when he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. It wasn’t like the other ones on the trail that lead somewhere. It was just a quick, chaste peck on the lips. Then he took off full speed down the trail.

I took off after him, feeling a thousand pounds lighter.

By the end of practice on Wednesday, I was starting to think that maybe I was being paranoid again. Nothing had gone wrong. No one had missed anything in a way that looked obvious to me. I was sure I could have convinced myself that it was all in my head if I hadn’t talked to Evander about it that morning. Maybe it would have been better if I’d done that, if I’d let sleeping dogs lie.

Because it got me in my head.

It made me make stupid mistakes during practice.

It turned out that if I got in my head, I didn’t need anyone else doing anything to make me look bad. I was more than capable of doing it on my own. I missed a few easy catches. I fumbled one of the catches I did make. It was a series of unfortunate events, one bad play after another, and I could see the look of disappointment on my coaches’ faces when I went by them on the sideline.

Thursday wasn’t much better, and I wasn’t surprised to find myself playing with the second team during seven-on-seven drills at the beginning of practice. I was back with the first team during eleven-on-elevens, but I knew what that second team assignment meant. It was a warning. It was a sign of things to come. If I didn’t get it together, then I was going to be riding with the second team for the rest of the season, and the second team hadn’t had much time on the field during games.

I stayed in the locker room until everyone left. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone. I figured if I waited long enough, I could make a quiet walk back to the dorm. I could figure out a way to get out of my head. I had a feeling that if I didn’t perform the way I should on Saturday then I was going to be spending a lot more time with the second team.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that Evander didn’t get the memo. He was waiting for me on the steps outside the training center, just sitting there like we had plans to meet. He turned the moment I walked out the door, a smile on his face. “Took you long enough,” he chirped as he bounced up.

“That was on purpose,” I told him as I readjusted my gym bag on my shoulder. I started down the steps, not waiting for him. I knew that he’d follow. Why else would he have waited?

Evander fell into step beside me. “Yeah, I figured that was what it was going to be.”

So, he’d gotten the hint. “And you still waited?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Is there a reason for that?”

“Did you see how smug Willis looked when you got put with the second team?” he asked.