Page 14 of Five Things I See in You

“The decision is made,” I insist.

“And what are you going to do once you leave here?”

“I have a temporary option in Capitol Hill. I’ll be able to make ends meet, don’t worry.”

She raises her eyebrows and tilts her head. We both know she wasn’t only asking about work.

“I’m handling it, okay? I’ll be fine. Nothing even happened,” I remind her.

***

On Tuesday, I hand over all the cases to Valeria, though she’s more or less up to speed.

“Iris sits down and talks about anything, but don’t cut her off, because it’s what she needs. It helps her a lot. Jade follows everything you tell her to the letter, so be very careful how you say things. She’s very superstitious.”

And so on, one player after another. At least, every player who comes in for individual sessions with the club’s sports psychology staff, which is almost all of them.

I leave Noa for last and pause.

“You know she’s been seeing sports psychologists since she was thirteen, so she knows how to handle the situation. She’s almost certainly not going to ask for follow-up. We’ve passed along Dr. Osei’s contact info, but I don’t think she’ll call.”

An hour later, when I’m about to leave, Iris comes in without knocking and slams the door.

But today she doesn’t say “Man,” she just stares at me with her hands in the pockets of her tracksuit.

“A little birdie told me you’re leaving,” she murmurs, looking at the floor.

“Yes.”

She looks at the bookshelf, at the window, at anything that isn’t me.

“This is bullshit, dammit.”

“You’ll be fine, Iris. Valeria is an excellent psychologist.”

“The first time I came here it was because Zoe sent me a text telling me to,” she says, rubbing her hands on her pants. “I didn’t even know why I was here and I ended up staying forty minutes talking to you. I’m going to miss you.”

Before I can answer, she comes around the desk and hugs me. Iris hugs the way she does everything: without asking permission and with more energy than necessary.

When she pulls back, she wipes her nose with her sleeve.

“Maybe you need to talk to someone too,” she says suddenly. “I suck at listening, but I can try.”

“Thanks, Iris.”

“Brit has all of us on her side. She just doesn’t know it yet. Anyway, that’s all. Don’t disappear completely, okay? We’re cool? Because if I have to come find you, I’m going to be a huge pain,” she warns me before walking out.

Chapter 10

Noa

Amara starts talking before I’ve even taken off my coat.

“Last week I may have gone a little faster than I should have,” she admits. “Today we’ll go a bit slower, at your pace.”

She says it casually, like someone warning you it might rain tonight. She doesn’t look sorry for me, and it’s not a formal apology.

The other day I left her office with a strange feeling, not knowing if she was aware she’d gone too far or if she was always that direct with all her patients.