Page 35 of Iron

“Just know, I never want to hurt you, and you have to tell me if something I do hurts. Don’t push through it; that will just make it worse. I won’t ask you to bottom. You tell me when you want to. Got it?”

“Yeah,” I breathe, feeling the need to crawl into his lap. I need him wrapped around me right now.

“What’s that look?” he asks.

I blow out a breath and make myself say it. “I want to be in your lap right now.”

“Good boy, come here,” he replies, tugging me to him and wrapping me up, just like I wanted, pressing my cheek to his chest. “Will you tell me what happened before?” he asks, kissing my temple.

I blow out a breath.

“You don’t have to, baby. I just thought it might help me know. Help me take better care of you.”

I nuzzle into his neck, breathing in deeply. Gavin smells of low-level spice and warm vanilla. Safe. He rubs his hands up my back, hugging me closer.

My mouth starts talking. Dammit, who gave it consent? “Guy didn’t prep me at all, just bent me over and shoved in. Condom and spit for lube. And I let him.”

He keeps rubbing.

“I felt my ass split open. Hurt so bad.” His chest rumbles beneath my ear. “He laughed, Gavin,” I sniffle into his chest. “I couldn’t shit without screaming for a week. And he laughed.”

“God, TJ,” he pulls back a bit and peers into my face. His eyes are a storm cloud of anger on my behalf. “I will never… I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me. I won’t betray that.”

I snuffle between his pecs again. God, I feel so safe.

“Did you talk to a therapist about any of this?” he asks. I love that rumble under my ear.

I nod, not moving away from him.

“But me being on top of you triggered it, that triggered you?”

“Yeah,” I admit. “Wasn’t even the same position, just my brain went sideways.”

“We’ll go slow, baby,” he says, hugging me tightly.

Gavin’s tongue is heaven. How did I not know how good it feels to have my nipples sucked? Pre-cum is dribbling on my stomach as he alternates left and right. He’s crouched over me on all fours, not laying on me, my cock resting on my stomach between us. I’ve wrapped my legs around his waist, fooling myself that I’m holding him in place.

My fingers run through his short hair, down to his bulging shoulders, mine to explore. His delts are ridged, channels that my fingers love to run down.

He scoots up to capture my mouth, suckle on my neck softly, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough that my back arches up.

“Roll over for me?” He rumbles against my ear. “I want to lick you.”

I bend my head away, giving him more skin and ask, “Lick me?”

“Mmm,” he confirms. “Just lick. Want to taste you back there.”

Holy fuck.

“Really?” I squeal.

He chuckles. “I think you’ll like it. But you tell me if you don’t. Just my tongue.”

I pause for a moment, giving this some real thought. On my knees was how Matt hurt me.

“Where’d you go?” he asks. “It is too much? I won’t hurt you, ever.” He licks my neck. Soft, warm, gentle. “One lick and I’ll stop if you don’t like it. Snickerdoodle. Lay on your side for me?”

On my side is safe. I unwrap my legs from around his waist and shove at his shoulder. He laughs and rolls off me, and I promptly flop onto my side. His kisses down my spine are so intimate. My back arches in pleasure. Another kiss to the top of my crack, his tongue sliding into my crease. My body is vibrating with arousal and anticipation. Oh god, he is really going to lick me there.