Page 87 of The Starlight Savior

Stumbling out the doors, she breathed in the garden’s cool air as it kissed her face. It was a relief to feel something other than the clothes sticking to her flushed skin. Her boots kicked on the stone below as she paced.

When the full moon rose, the king expected her to…do what exactly? Prove her worth? Looking down at her hands, she studied the lines and scars on her palms. A heavy weight settled deep in her gut.

She couldn’t do this.

Saige could not be the one to heal the mist. She was barely able to grasp her magic now. To use it against all of Opela, alone, was unfathomable.

Bang. The doors to the garden swung open, Conor’s large frame barreling through the entrance. His breath was heavy as his gaze landed on her, pain and anguish etching his features.

“Saige!” he exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

Rushing forward, she didn’t even think as she placed her hands on his chest and pushed. “You lied!”

Conor stumbled back. “No, no, no. I didn’t lie, I swear!” His hand raked through his hair. “I just…”

“Didn’t tell me the full truth? How stupid does this kingdom think I am? You know I didn’t want any more deceit. You could’ve told me what the king expected at any moment, and yet I had to find out from a fucking meeting with the whole capital aware of my fate. That I could have Sydera’s magic? While I am sitting here blind!”

“You weren’t supposed to be there!”

“That is even worse!” she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. From the corner of her eye, the light in her veins glowed.

“You don’t get it,” Conor begged. “I was trying to protect you!”

“From what? From the embarrassment of failing?”

“I…yes! What do you think would’ve happened if you knew what Tobin theorized? What the king was putting on your shoulders? I did not lie when I said Sydera’s magic cannot be tested. There hasn’t been a wielder in years with such power! It would’ve changed everything for you. Your training. Your courage. Your confidence!”

Saige sucked in a breath of cold air. “I asked you many times about Sydera. And you dismissed me.”

“If you knew, you would’ve shut down. Imagine the fear. The pressure.”

“You don’t know that for sure. Maybe I could’ve handled the truth.”

“And if you don’t have Sydera’s magic, then what? What do you think you’ll feel? I can’t let you go through that.” Conor’s voice cracked as he spoke. Saige felt herself tugged toward him. He was the one person she truly trusted in this kingdom. But she squashed the urge, letting the heat in her body burn bright.

“I don’t know what I’ll feel. But no one gets to decide that.”

“You’re right.” Conor shook his head, his eyes darting between Saige and their surroundings. “But…this is a world you don’t understand. You think this kingdom will keep you safe? You don’t understand half of what happens throughout Opela.”

Saige was quiet for a moment. Conor’s chest rose and fell quickly. In a low voice, she said, “And if I never knew that I’m being tested for Sydera’s magic, if I failed, would you have told me?”

Conor’s mouth opened and closed.

Finally his demeanor cracked. He let out a groan, beginning to pace back and forth as she once did. She jumped as thunder crackled sharply above.

“You don’t understand the way a war like this will drain you. If the battle doesn’t destroy you, the pressure will!”

“Destroy me?”

In a low growl, Conor said, “I’ve experienced first hand the shame of never being able to show up the way that is expected. To fail your family. You don’t deserve that pain.”

“It’s too late,” Saige whispered. She stepped forward in front of his path, raising her head until her eyes met his. “I know now. And it hurts more that everyone hid it from me, including you.”

“I would never hurt you. You need to know that.”

His words lodged in her chest, constricting her heart. Her breath began to slow, but tears filled her eyes. “I need space. Away from all of this.”

Before she could hear Conor’s response, she strode past him without another glance or word.