Page 17 of Off the Post

“Ali. I’m Ali.”

“Ah, ja, ja.” Anna smiles at her and then looks toward me, her eyes flashing knowingly. She’s on to me. “I don’t think Ali has any inappropriate scenes planned, Soren. I think she’s just looking for some personal tie-in to the photo. Do I have that right, Ali?”

Ali nods, her shoulders dropping slightly in relief. “Yes. Exactly. But if you’d prefer something else, I can rearrange the shot. No problem at all.”

And then I acquiesce, regretting how far I’ve taken my fake outrage. She was prepared to bend over backward for my comfort.

The idea of Ali bending over for me for any reason is too much.

I clear the lump in my throat and let out a small chuckle. “Ali, I’m just messing with you. I’m fine with whatever you want me to do. Where do you want me?”

Ali’s face brightens and her full-wattage smile hits me like a stick to the groin. It’s powerful, yet painful.

Fuck, it’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself to feel something for a woman.

I’ve guarded my heart.

I’ve become so fucking good at blocking out love and emotions that I’ve become immune to the chemistry that exists with attraction.

Ali clearly has broken through my defenses despite my mental toughness and fast reflexes and has found a way to hit the spot in my heart that is hardest for me to block.

9

Ali

Well, that’s it, then.

I’m mentally kicking myself in the butt for thinking there was something happening between Soren and me.

It doesn’t matter that I was instantly drawn to Soren and thought we had a connection. The sizzle of heat I felt in his presence was immediately doused when I walked in to find him hugging his children while his wife looked on.

Why am I always attracted to unavailable men?

In my last relationship, I was an unsuspecting mistress and had no reason to think that he wasn’t single and unattached.

Scott and I had been industry colleagues. I was the Communications and Events Manager for my former employer in Santa Clara and Scott was the site vendor I’d hired to host an event.

We dated for three months and I fell hard. It’s easy to blame it on being young and blinded by the love-bombing. And then I found out about Scott’s other life, and I was devastated in one swift move when I learned he had a wife, a son and a newborn baby girl.

I experienced more than heartbreak.

I had a breakdown.

My employer fired me because I couldn’t finish the job while I holed up in my shitty apartment for a week, unable to eat or take care of myself.

If it hadn’t been for my mom, who dropped everything to fly in from the East Coast and check on me, I’m not sure I would’ve survived. I was in a world of hurt. The blame and self-doubt I felt was too much to bear.

Now here I am again, lusting over the hot hockey goalie who I thought was giving me flirty vibes. But at least I found out early that Soren’s married with kids so I won’t continue to be smitten with him.

Damn those dark, penetrating gazes he gave me that sent shivers of lust down my spine. Every look exchanged between us woke up parts of me that had been on hiatus since my breakup.

Admittedly, he is rather grouchy on the outside, but then I’d catch glimpses of a softer side. Something buried beneath that ill-tempered exterior, like he’s hiding behind some sort of armor and just acting the part of scary and impenetrable man.

Now that I know the truth, I can go about my day and focus on getting through this photoshoot. I can dust myself off and deal with working with him for the next few hours without incident.

I rap my knuckles on the improvised dressing-room door and hear some of the guys chattering as they change into their assigned costumes.

“Everyone decent in here?” I call out. Several responses are shouted from the other side of the makeshift dressing room.