Page 105 of Merciless

“I don’t know,” I say.

Shane drops his arm by his side. “Sounds like your friend is worried about what other people think.”

“Yeah. And she has feelings for both of them.”

“Right. Right.” He clears his throat. “Can I ask a question?”

“No, it’s not me,” I say in a rush.

He smirks. “I wasn’t going to ask that, but good to know. What I wanted to ask is if she’s happy being with him?”

My mouth opens, then shuts when I can’t find my voice to answer his simple question.

Am I happy being with Elijah and Asher?

“I . . . I don’t know,” I say.

It’s the truth. When I’m with both of them, I’m way too scattered-brained and worried about getting caught with them. When I’m with Elijah, I have moments where I think about Asher. That car ride home with them was awkward, and I’m sure they felt it too. Whenever I glanced at Asher, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to kiss him too, and to have him touch me like Elijah touches me.

I turn my head away from Shane so he can’t see my shame.

Maybe I just want to get to know Asher.

I clear my throat. “Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Are you sure?” he says.

“No.” I cringe. “I don’t know. She says that she gets butterflies whenever she’s around him and his brother. That must mean something, right? “

“Do you think he’s okay with her being with his brother, too?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Would you ever be okay with a girl you’re with getting with your brother?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a brother.”

“But let’s say that you do . . .”

“Okay. Let’s say that I do. I probably wouldn’t care as long as there’s open communication and no one is sneaking around. If she wants both of us, she needs to say it. So if your friend wants both of the guys, she needs to tell them. Who knows, they might be into that shit.”

I slowly nod and stare at him, but I don’t see him. I can only think of the twins and how they’d react if I said I wanted both of them. They’ve displayed jealousy in the past over other things, so I would imagine they’d get jealous about this too. The night I pretended to be asleep, Elijah didn’t touch me. It was Asher. I heard their harsh whispers, but I couldn’t make out everything they said before Elijah left. When Elijah pinned me to the mattress in his bedroom, it felt like he was taking it out on me for sleeping with Asher. That could be in my head though. Maybe I’m reading it wrong.

What I’m not reading wrong is the tension between the brothers.

This is a bigger mess than I wanted.

“Circling back to your friend worrying about this. It sounds like she may be happy where she’s at,” Shane says. “I’d say fuck everyone else and what they think. If she wants to be with him and his brother, she should stick around and see what comes of it.”

I avert my gaze.

I’m happy where I’m at?

Shit, this is so confusing. I enjoy the back-and-forth with Elijah. He’s quick with his comebacks and has been patient with me as I figure my shit out.

And Asher?

There’s been more tension between us, and he must feel it too. Whenever he’s around, I want him to do more than just steal glances at me before storming out of the room.

“Do you think that will help your friend?” Shane’s question drags me out of my deep thoughts.