Page 132 of So, I Met This Guy . . .

Arms around each other, giggling and whispering, they’d been browsing under his watchful eye for the past few minutes. Years of experience had taught Dennis that was the trick to a successful sale. Give the customer some space to fall in love with a piece of jewellery or expensive watch, to fantasize about how they’ll style their hair to show off that pair of stunning six-carat, pavé-set diamond earrings to their girlfriends, or to imagine surreptitiously flicking their wrist to reveal their designer timepiece at their next business meeting.

As a sales manager, you needed to know when to pounce. Ask too early and you could frighten them off. Leave it too late and you risked them being distracted or, worse, snapping out of Cruise Mode, a hypnotic state where real life and money no longer mattered.

Like most things in life, it was all about timing.

He swooped in. ‘Is it for someone special?’

‘I’d say he’s kinda special. What do you think, Louis, are you special?’ cooed the glamorous older woman.

‘Not as special as you, Birdy,’ flirted her middle-aged toyboy.

Dennis didn’t blink. Working on cruises for the past twenty years, he’d seen couples in so many different shapes and sizes. There was the man whose wife had died enroute to the Caribbean and the woman who comforted him. He’d bought her a diamond bracelet. The divorcée who’d found love at the singles party and treated him to a luxury watch. The ninety-something widow who chose to live on a cruise ship instead of a retirement home and changed her suitor as often as her sparkly evening gown. She always bought cufflinks.

The high seas did something to people. Show them an open stretch of water and as soon as dry land disappeared so did their inhibitions. People came on board looking for love. It was almost like a dating app. He’d seen so many relationships blossom – some led to marriages, others only lasted as long as the cruise. But he wasn’t here to judge; he was here to sell them precious jewellery and luxury watches.

Dennis cleared his throat.

‘Would madam like to see anything in particular?’

‘Please, call me Birdy,’ she said in her distinctive Southern drawl. ‘Madam makes me sound like the owner of a brothel.’

She let out a loud cackle of laughter and beamed at Dennis, who felt himself blush.

‘Birdy, what are you like?’ Her toyboy pretended to reprimand her with a kiss. ‘You’re embarrassing him.’

‘Oh, sir, I’m sorry, don’t mind me, I’m only teasing.’

Dennis smiled graciously. He liked this loud American woman, with her flamboyant clothes and mischievous grin. He’d served plenty of Americans in his time. They were often loud but always friendly and polite, not to mention extremely generous tippers. They understood the value of good service.

‘See what I’ve got to put up with?’ quipped The Toyboy and winked at him.

Dennis smiled tightly. The boyfriend, however, he didn’t like. Handsome, charming, and a total player. He knew his type. He’d encountered so many of these shady characters. Con artists, swindlers, heartbreakers. They came on board looking to take advantage of an older woman, or sometimes an older man. Someone vulnerable or lonely or looking for affection. Pretending to be in love with them when all they were in love with was their money.

He might be able to fool her, but he couldn’t fool him. Dennis had been married thirty years and raised two sons and a daughter. His family lived in the Philippines where he sent his wage each month. He’d made a good living but he was ready to retire soon. He loved his wife and was looking forward to being with her, though he worried about leaving the ship. He’d lived his whole life on the seas, going to sleep each night in one place and waking up in another every day. It was in his blood now. What if he couldn’t settle? What if he lost a part of himself? Without the cruise ship and its passengers, who was he?

‘We’re interested in one of your watches,’ continued Birdy, tapping a long red fingernail on the glass counter. ‘A Rolex.’

‘Of course.’ Dennis went to open the case.

‘Sweetheart, please, it’s too much,’ protested The Toyboy. ‘I couldn’t possibly accept such a gift.’

It was all Dennis could do not to roll his eyes. If he had a duty-free dollar for every time he’d heard that, he’d be a millionaire and buying his own designer watches, not selling them.

‘Nonsense.’ Birdy swatted him away playfully. ‘Nothing is ever too much. It’s my treat.’

‘Oh, Birdy, I’m so lucky to have met you.’

‘Oh, Louis, the luck is all mine.’

‘Is there a particular model you’re interested in?’ Wearing his white dust gloves, Dennis turned to them both, his eyebrows raised.

‘Well, if you insist, I rather like the Submariner,’ said The Toyboy.

Of course you do, thought Dennis. Only one of the most expensive.

‘Me too!’ Birdy clapped her hands together gleefully. ‘Great minds think alike!’

Carefully removing the timepiece from the cabinet, Dennis went to place it on The Toyboy’s wrist, but he was already wearing a watch. ‘If you’d like to remove your current watch, sir.’