Page 24 of A Promise Made

He did not wish to consider that his daughters’ ability to cope and comfort one another might hint that Mr Saunders and Mr Darcy had been correct, all those years ago, when they opined that he should be more open with the family about what had occurred.

No, he need not consider his past decisions or their repercussions. It was hard enough to get through the present. This expedition to lay flowers on the grave would surely involve heartache. Lizzy said she had discovered the grave years ago, and he knew that Mr Saunders had shown Mr Darcy the grave five years ago. Clearly, it would be nearly impossible to find it, and if they did manage to, it was sure to be overgrown.

Ah, well. For years he had had his way, and now Lizzy would learn the hard way that being open in all things was not the panacea for which she hoped.

Lizzy…Mr Bennet felt his breath catch as he pictured once again Mr Darcy kissing her hand and mentioning that they had grown close through estate correspondence. But he shoved down those memories and stuffed away those emotions and firmly told himself that Lizzy had not reached her majority, and he would never allow such a pairing….

The carriage stopped, and Mr Bennet followed Mr Bingley to the stables to select the mount he would ride for this little excursion. He sighed as he hauled himself into the saddle and then waited to be led on what would likely be a long and frustrating ride.

Chapter Nineteen

Lizzy helped guide the driver of the cart to the grave. They had to take a bit more circuitous route than those on horseback, but she was quite familiar with the surroundings, because she had secretly brought flowers so many times.

She had been impressed, every time she visited her brother’s grave, that the Netherfield Park gardeners kept the glade natural looking, as if it was untouched by humans, but the glade remained as sunny as the first time she saw it because of some inconspicuous trimming of the trees that encircled it. Also, the grasses around the grave itself were trimmed enough that the cross and headstone remained uncovered.

Her often-loud family was silent as they filed into the little clearing and stood around the grave. Mama mumbled, “I do not know why I never came before,” as she placed a showy arrangement of roses so that it touched but did not cover the headstone.

“It has been kept up, all these years?” Papa asked. He sounded mystified, and Lizzy realised for the first time that her father had neither ordered the gravesite maintained nor visited it, both of which she had assumed.

She felt her respect for the man sink just a little more—and it was becoming a near thing to feel disrespect for him.

Each of the sisters held a small arrangement of flowers, and Lydia placed hers last. She looked much more dignified in her sorrow than her usual appearance. Lizzy felt that she could just see the words of rebuke for Papa trembling on her youngest sister’s lips. All she had said, so far, was, “I wish you had told me earlier,” and Lizzy’s regard for Lydia rose as she continued to exhibit restraint.

When Lydia stepped back from the grave, Lizzy embraced her, and the dam of her sister’s tears seemed to break. Lydia sobbed, and first Mary, then Jane and Kitty stepped into the group hug near the tiny grave.

When the sisters finally separated, their mother held her arms open to Lydia. “I am so sorry for not telling you,” she said. Lydia gladly embraced her mother, who silently wept while Lydia clutched her tight.

Lizzy looked at Mr Darcy. How was he taking all of these tears?

She was relieved and pleased that he seemed to be managing very well. He nodded to her with a small smile, and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

Of course he was managing well! He had leant her strength and courage to speak to her family about the discovery of the existence of a brother who never got to live.

He had helped arrange the transportation of the group and had led the riders to the grave’s location.

He was, truly, the best of men.

* * *

After such an emotional day, Lizzy woke up excited to feel that Mr Darcy’s courtship would now be able to start.

Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley came together to call. Lizzy rapidly offered to show the men the garden, along with any sisters who wished to accompany them. Predictably, only Jane stood to join in.

The two couples started off walking together. Mr Bingley asked how the ladies fared, after such an overwhelming drama the day before.

“I feel like a huge weight has been removed from my shoulders,” Lizzy answered. “I cannot believe I did not tell you for so long, Jane, but it was as if I was frozen, unable to share it. I would have apologised to you last night, if Lydia had not needed my focus.”

Jane reached over to squeeze Lizzy’s hand. “I wish for your sake that you had told me right away, and we could have borne the weight together. However, I am not the least bit angry that you did not tell me, since it was so obvious that our parents wished to keep it secret. I think it is admirable that you went to Papa and Mama first, even now that we are grown.”

“Well, Mr Darcy and I spoke of it first. But he already knew, so I was not spilling secrets.” She stole a sideways glance up into Mr Darcy’s eyes, and he was tenderly gazing at her, so she mouthed Thank you.

Mr Bingley expressed his sympathy in a rambling but sincere way, finishing with the assurance that, if he purchased Netherfield, he would build a better path or even a road to the gravesite. Then he blushed bright red and said, “If, that is, the family wished for such. I should not presume to know….”

Soon after that Lizzy and Mr Darcy found themselves out-pacing the other couple, and eventually they could not even see where they were.

“We are apparently excellent chaperones for them, and they for us,” Lizzy said with a laugh.

“I do have something sensitive I wish to ask you,” Mr Darcy replied. “Your father still seems very fond of me when I am not accompanying you, but have you noticed that, when we are together, he has begun to glare at us?”