Page 15 of Born to Scar

“He threw her so hard that she busted her head on the corner of my dresser, cracked her skull wide open.” He takes a deep breath and exhales just as harshly. “That’s how my mother went to prison.”

My body jerks up, straddling him, on its own accord. “Jared.” Tears fill my eyes as I meet his gaze. He’s been crying, but right now, his face is contorted in terror. His body is trembling uncontrollably, and his head is shaking back and forth violently.

“Pink. PINK!” he screams.

I don’t know what to do. He’s using our safe word. In horror, I realize how I’m sitting on him. I jump off, my body landing on the opposite side of the couch at his feet.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “Jay? Look at me.”

It takes a minute, but his eyes finally find mine. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. New tears stain his cheeks.

“No. You have nothing to apologize for.”

I sit with him in silence and chance wrapping my hand around his calf. “Can I touch you here?” I just want to let him know that I’m here and I’m not going to hurt him, that he’s safe with me. He tightly jerks his head in a single nod. My thumb draws soothing circles on his leg as we settle back into silence.

I want to ask how old he was. I want to know if she’s still in prison. I want to know if I can find her and kill her. I never want him to be haunted by that bitch again.

My heart, which I didn’t even know existed anymore, the heart that’s been broken for so long, just cracked wide open for him. Good to know it still works, but fuck finding out like this.

“Come here.”

“Jay. Is that…”

“Please. Come lie beside me. I don’t want to be alone.”

“You’ll never be alone with me,” I whisper. And I mean it more.

I crawl behind him and wrap my arm around his chest. “Is this okay?” I keep my voice soft. He grabs my hand, wrapping his long fingers over mine, pressing them over his heart.

“Yeah, Indy. This is better than okay.”

We fall asleep just like that, with my heart bleeding and my palm pressed to his. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulls me to sleep. His breathing has already leveled out.

My eyes crack open. The darkness is thick around us. I kiss his neck, eliciting a groan from him. “I’m going to head out. It’s late.”

“Stay,” he mumbles, cuddling me closer.

I love this feeling so much. I like being so close to him. But it’s not a good idea. He’s very particular about his space, and I’m not about to be in his way.

“That’s not a good idea, Jay.”

“You’re right,” he says, yawning. Admittedly, that stings way more than I thought it would. “It’s a great one. Come on. Come to bed with me.”

Before I know what’s happening, he has me in his arms, carrying me up the stairs. And just like that, I’m in Jay’s bed, his body wrapped around mine. He’s fast asleep when my phone starts vibrating like crazy. It’s the only person who would check on me so late. He’s worried, and I should have told him what was happening.

I slide from Jay’s hold, only for his hand to shoot out and grip my wrist. “I just need to tell Mik I’m okay,” I explain softly. Kissing my fingers, he lets me go.

MIK: Where R U?

MIK: R U OK?

MIK: Indy

Mik! Sorry

I fell asleep at Jays. Staying here

MIK: