Page 53 of Beg for You

He slid his hands around my waist, for once, gently. “No, not yet. At least you’ve accepted it’s only a matter of time.”

I hadn’t accepted a damn thing, but telling him would only piss him off and I had no desire to deal with him like that. Some other guests walked out, people we’d talked to.

“Kiss me goodbye,” he said under his breath. “Like a good girlfriend would.”

I started to shake my head. “I’m not kissing you.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve kissed. Am I the only man to put his lips to yours?” he said. “You’re a beautiful woman, Cassandra, but your father tells me the scarring on your body”—he shook his head—“it must be distressing for you. You’ve kept yourself hidden, haven’t you?”

I tried to pull free of his hold. “Let me go,” I hissed.

“You want kids one day? Money? I’ll give it to you.” He slid his hand over my shoulder, over the fabric of my dress covering my scars. “Some might think I’m the one getting the raw deal here. Getting a less than perfect wife.” He shrugged. “But I don’t care about the scars. I still want you.” He pressed his hips forward. “See? Can you feel how hard I am? Have you ever been with a man, Cassandra?”

My face heated with humiliation and anger.

He released a ragged breath. “I can’t wait to teach you, to show you what it’s like to be with me. We will be good together, Cassy, I promise you that.” He leaned in, mouth an inch from mine, but he didn’t close the gap. Instead, he pressed his lips to my cheek. “I’ll be in touch.”

I jerked back when he finally released me and watched him walk back into the building, a smirk planted firmly on his face.

I couldn’t survive being that asshole’s wife, but the alternative—watching my father’s and my gran’s lives fall to pieces, being the reason they fell to pieces again—killed me.

My mind scrambled for an answer as a sob crawled up my throat. Panic seized me and I spun around and rushed to the street, calling a cab as I ran.

There was only one man I wanted to be my first, only one man I could ever imagine being with like that. One man I wanted with my entire body and soul. The need in me was clawing from the inside out. Fear over what my future might hold was a band around my throat, making it hard to breathe.

I gripped my clutch in my hand when my phone started to ring, knowing it would be my father worried that I’d somehow screwed everything up for him. Worried about himself, his feelings, what he might lose. What about me? I’d lost Chris, too. I’d lost my brother and I wasn’t given the chance to grieve. My father had been so caught up in making others pay for what had happened, blaming everyone but himself or Chris.

Making sure I knew I was no better than Chris’s friend, the one who had been in the accident. Joel, the friend who had supplied my brother with drugs, or so my father had told me, got the brunt of my father’s wrath. I didn’t really remember the guy, and I didn’t know the facts, but I knew whatever my father did to him couldn’t have been good.

And when my father found out I knew that Chris had been using…let’s just say our relationship had never recovered. I’d spent the better part of the last ten years trying to get him to love me again.

Turned out I’d failed.

My cab pulled up beside me and I climbed in, quickly giving him the address, urgency riding me.

It felt like hours, not thirty minutes.

Finally, I was standing on the pavement outside Rocktown Ink, my heart thundering in my chest. The lights were on upstairs in Cal’s apartment, and I could also hear music. There was no way he’d hear me knocking. I pulled my phone from my clutch, and ignoring the blinking light alerting me to a voice mail from my father, I called Cal’s number.

I heard the music being turned down from the street, then Cal’s deep, gravelly voice rumbled down the line. “Cassy?”

“Will you let me up? I need to come up.” My voice came out almost shrill, but there was no schooling it or the urgency I felt to be with him in that moment.

“You’re here?” More gravel in his voice, lifting goose bumps over my entire body. A shadow loomed in front of the window upstairs and I knew he was looking down on me.

I didn’t bother answering. I knew he could see me, and I couldn’t get a word out even if I tried.

The shadow moved away. “I’m coming down.”

His voice sounded strained, a note to it I didn’t understand but caused an unhappy roll low in my belly. A few seconds later the shop door opened, and Cal filled the space.

I rushed to him and yanked him down by his arm. Thankfully, he let me. I wrapped mine around his neck and climbed his tall, hard, muscular body like a tree trunk. I heard the delicate fabric of my dress tear when I spread my thighs, wrapping them around his thick waist, but didn’t care. I needed all of him against all of me.

His big hands went to my butt, holding me up, and he cursed, dark eyes flashing with heat, but there was also something else…conflict? “Cassy…”

I slammed my mouth against his, stopping whatever he was going to say. I didn’t want to hear it, because I knew I wouldn’t like one single word of it. His lips were firm against mine, motionless for a second.

Please don’t turn me away. I’ll die if you turn me away.