Page 176 of Knight’s Retribution

“That’s kind of cool that you can do that.”

He grinned. “I used to see the future, before”—he pointed up—“they took my wings, but not anymore. Now I get these feelings, these…knowings, I guess you’d call them. It’s taken a bit to get used to, but as time goes on, I’m growing more and more in tune with them.”

“They took your wings?”

Silas nodded. “Angels are dicks, don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

“That’s awful. It must be like…like…” She shook her head. “I can’t imagine it.”

“It sucks. I miss them.” He thrust his fingers through his hair and smiled. “And fuck, driving’s a hassle. I’m not fond of confined spaces.”

“I’m sure you were never a dick,” she said.

He chuckled. “Sadly, I wasn’t always this awesome. I fucked up. Ask Rocco; they all thought I was a major dick for a very long time.”

There was no missing that talking about his wings, about what happened, caused him a great deal of pain. “Well, they love you now.”

“They couldn’t get by without me,” he said and winked. “So what’s on your mind?”

She felt kind of awkward talking about this, but she had to know. “So Rocco and I haven’t…we’re not mated.”

“Okay,” Silas said, his eyes gentle.

“Which means I’m still useful to Diemos.” She rubbed her hands on her thighs, fighting the awful feeling in her belly. “He’s hurting people, Silas, looking for me, trying to get me back.”

Silas said nothing, just waited patiently for her to get to the point.

“The only way to stop that is to mate with Rocco, right?”

“Yes,” he said, that gentle look still on his face.

“But you also need my blood to get T and Scarlet out of Hell.”

“Yeah, we do.” His expression didn’t change; the angel gave away nothing.

She curled her fingers into fists. “I don’t want any more people to die because of me, but I can’t do what…needs to be done, until Tobias and Scarlet are free—”

“Do what needs to be done?”

“Um…yeah.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Rocco wouldn’t want you to do something you don’t want, Kyler. When…if, you mate with him, it needs to be because you want that, you want him.”

“I do…god, I do, Silas. I want that with him so much. I love him, but the whole needing-my-blood thing, and my issues with…with touch…” She rubbed her hands over her face. “I want to help, and I want to be closer to Rocco, and I don’t know how to make everyone happy, to help everyone.”

That gentle look in his eyes grew even softer. “There is a way actually, a way for you to have all of it, Ky.”

She sat up straighter. “There is?”

“The blood part is easy, we take a few vials and they’re there when we need them.” He cleared his throat. “As for mating, there are ways, things, you can do to make sure you’re relaxed, so it’s…enjoyable for both of you without worrying about Rocco inadvertently touching you, in the…heat of the moment.”

Yes, this was painfully awkward, but she wanted to know, she needed to know. Because she wanted this. “What would you…um, suggest?”

“Restraints. Tie Roc down.”

By his wide grin, she knew her eyes were as wide as they felt. “I’m not sure, I mean, I don’t think he’d want me to do that…”

“Yeah, he will, trust me on that,” Silas said, his expression back to neutral. “And mating is intense, he may touch you without thinking, or hold you tight while it’s happening. This way there’s no risk. You’ll be able to relax, but so will he knowing there’s no chance of him hurting you or scaring you.”