Page 12 of A Trial By Blood

His knock came downstairs, the low murmur of his deep voice, then nothing. His steps were always soundless as he climbed the stairs. Then he was there, standing in the doorway, tall and lean and handsome. He was wearing black trousers and a white shirt under a long black jacket. His dark hair was combed back, and his square jaw, freshly shaven. His violet eyes came straight to me, like they always did when he entered the room.

“Rose, how are you this evening?”

“A lot better now you’re here,” I said, because I’d given up pretending. He may not understand the things I said and why, but I did. I wasn’t going to hold back. I told him when I was happy to see him because I wanted him to know he was important to me. What did I have to lose?

With Ronan, I didn’t need to wonder if he loved me, too, because I knew he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He studied me for long seconds, like he often did when I said things like that. “I make you feel better?” he finally asked as he walked to my bedside.

“Yes. You make me happy, Ronan.” Yes, I was being brave, saying everything I felt, but it still wasn’t easy. And my face heated as soon as the words left me.

“Why?” he asked, surprising me.

That impassive violet stare hadn’t left me, and my heart beat faster. “You always take such good care of me,” I said. “You bring me food and read to me…and listen to me talk and vent. But mostly, you don’t treat me like I’m different.” I swallowed hard, my face stupidly getting hotter. “And you don’t look at me with pity or disgust.”

His head tilted to the side, studying me with laser-sharp focus, in a move that showed that under it all, he was still a predator. “Why would I look at you in disgust?”

Out of all the things I’d said, that was the one he chose to ask me about. “The way I look, Ronan. I know you don’t feel, but you have two eyes in your head. I’m ugly.”

His brows snapped together. “Ugly?”

I thought I actually heard surprise in his voice. Was he serious? Of course, he was. Ronan didn’t know how to be anything but himself. There was no pretense, no game playing, all of that was beyond him. I wasn’t about to list everything off. My hair, so thin I was now bald in patches, my body, nothing but bones covered in skin so thin you could see every vein through it. My face, drawn and narrow. And the thing that upset me the most, the hump on my back that had continued to grow, making me hunched and disfigured in a way that was not only humiliating but scared the hell out of me. Instead, I said, “You don’t find me ugly?”

I lay completely still as his gaze flicked over my face, then down my body, buried under the covers. “No,” he said.

“No?” He had to be lying, but Ronan didn’t lie. He never lied. It seemed there was a first time for everything.

He shook his head.

Pain sliced through me. Why was he lying to me? I didn’t want lies from him, not him. Irrational anger welled inside me. “Look at me, Ronan. I’m hideous.”

He frowned. “It’s but a shell, Rose. Even your illness can’t conceal the true nature of your soul.”

I blinked up at him. “My soul?”

He removed his jacket and draped it carefully over the back of the chair, then sat. “Yes.”

“And what is the nature of my soul?”

His violet gaze lifted from my mouth. “I may not understand emotions, but I recognize beauty, in many forms. I also know good from evil. Your goodness shines through.” He was looking deep into my eyes. “Your soul, Rose, is bright. It’s beautiful.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I’d never heard Ronan speak like that, not once.

“Would you like me to read to you for a while?” he asked, breaking the silence as if he hadn’t just rocked my world on its foundation. “Or would you like to talk further? You said you had something you wanted to ask me?”

“Hey, guys,” Iris said, poking her head around the door. Her chestnut hair was pulled back in a ponytail today, and her deep brown eyes softened when they landed on me. I loved that she didn’t try to hide the black mark on her cheek anymore. What had once caused her pain, she now wore with pride.

“Iris,” Ronan said, that deep voice sliding through me.

“I’m heading out. I need to get back to the keep.”

Iris lived in an old keep in the middle of the forest with her mate, Draven, and his wolf pack, but like Willow, she was here often.

“What’s happening tomorrow night?” I asked. “I heard Willow and Mags talking. Rowena’s here?” I didn’t want anyone to miss out because of me.

“Oh…yeah, I’m not sure what it’s all about. You know Rowena. I’m sure it’s nothing Earth-shattering.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Yes, it was definitely about me. They were planning for the worst. They knew as well as I did that the mother would be calling soon and what that would mean for the coven. “You should all go.”