Page 91 of A Trial By Blood

I forced myself to look at her, even as humiliation burned through me. She had her arms out, reaching for me, asking me to go to her.

“Rose, I don’t think I can—”

She shook her head. “Just to hold you. I just want to hold you.”

I eased down as a shudder rolled through my body, then continued to shake in her arms as she ran her hands over my back and into my hair. “I’m sorry,” I said again, so fucking angry with myself I wanted to roar. I thought I had this under control. I thought I’d broken free from that fucking twisted male, but I hadn’t. He still had his hands around my throat. I was still his pathetic creature. Azel was like dirt under my fingernails, the fallen angel, the trauma he’d caused clung to me like a layer of grime I couldn’t wash off. No relief, no getting clean.

“You don’t ever have to be sorry, not with me,” she said into the silence.

I didn’t know what to say, what to do.

So I lay there and let Rose soothe me. I let her take care of me when it should have been the other way around. What kind of male let his female take care of him? She deserved a male so much stronger than me.

I fell asleep in her arms, knowing I’d failed her and not sure how I would ever make it right.

How I’d ever rid myself of Azel.

Because until I did, he still owned a part of me, a part of me that had never been his to take.

And I didn’t know how to get it back.

CHAPTER 26

Rose

My phone chirped from somewhere on the mezzanine floor. Ronan was asleep with his arm locked around my waist, and his long, lean, muscled body pressed against the length of mine, his face buried against the side of my throat.

He was alarmingly still and utterly silent. It was strange not hearing him breathe. Other times I didn’t really notice, but lying beside him, his skin cool, his body still, I’d never been more aware of the fact that his heart didn’t beat.

Did that mean he was immortal? He didn’t have a heartbeat, but he wasn’t dead, his blood was still warm. Yes, his skin was cool, but it wasn’t cold.

I needed to get up. I couldn’t just lay here. Time was running out, and not just my task. In a matter of days, Death would be expecting me. But surprisingly, he hadn’t come to me last night. No, instead, I’d had a nightmare of the same demon I’d dreamed of before. Everything had been dark, except for firelight, just like last time, while a twisted, hideous, horned demon stared at me with terrifying red eyes. Did he have something to do with Death? I didn’t think so, but it had to mean something. I just wasn’t sure what.

I also had yet to hear from Zinnia, but she promised she could help, and I trusted her. She wouldn’t give me false hope unless she truly believed there was something she could do. All that was left for me to do was pray she was right. I’d learned a long time ago, while waiting for a cure, an answer to my illness, that hope was dangerous, but it was all I had.

The alternative—saying goodbye to Ronan, to everyone I loved—wasn’t something I wanted to think about. But if that was my fate, there were things I needed to know. Like what it would mean for my coven.

My phone chirped again, and Ronan stirred, then lifted his head and blinked over at me. I sucked in a breath when those otherworldly eyes met mine. They were dark, the deepest violet because he’d finally fed. After last night, I wasn’t sure how he’d react this morning. If he’d try to pull away or pretend it never happened.

He dropped his nose to my throat and breathed deeply. “You smell like Heaven,” he said, his voice sleep roughened.

His hair was mussed and his face was relaxed. I’d never seen him like this before. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes.” His gaze slid from mine, then back. “I’m sorry about last night…”

“Don’t. Please don’t apologize.” I traced the line of his chiseled jaw. “You need time, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He leaned in to kiss me—

This time, my phone rang. “I better get that,” I said before our lips made contact. Ronan growled as I pulled away and leaned out of the bed, finding my phone poking out from under my shredded jeans. I didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Rose?”

“Yes.”

“Uh, sorry to call so early, honey. It’s your dad.”

Ronan stilled beside me.