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“But,” he added grimly, “I also fear it.”
Given that he’d consumed a fire elemental—and survived, something no one had ever done—he had a right to be scared. We didn’t know what the long-term effects were going to be—not even the most powerful witches in the country could tell us that.
Still, I said, “Why?”
“Because I can feel it in me, Risa. Its presence burns constantly at the back of my mind, and though I’ve won this battle, I’m not sure I’ve won the war. It could yet take me over.”
I cupped a hand to his cheek. His skin burned under my fingertips. “You’ve made it this far. You can—and will—control it.”
“Then you have more faith in my strength than I do,” he muttered, and rose. “I better get back to the kitchen, before Ilianna cooks the hell out of those steaks. Do you want to eat in here, or out there?”
“Out there. I feel the need to get out and about.”
He nodded. “Know that feeling. I’ll give you a yell when they’re ready.”
I watched him walk out of the room, then carefully climbed out of bed. The room swung around me and my legs felt like water, and it was only a fierce determination that I would not fall that kept me upright. As Azriel had noted on numerous occasions, I could be a stubborn bitch when I wanted to be.
I walked a little unsteadily across to my bathroom, then twisted around in front of the mirror to check out my various injuries. My reflection revealed a myriad of half-healed wounds, although the one down my spine was by far the worst. Azriel was right—that one would scar.
No more low-backed evening dresses for me, I thought grimly. Especially if my aunt was around. She would not take kindly to discovering that I’d been in situations dangerous enough to get hurt this badly without calling her in.
Heat shimmered across my skin. I turned around as Azriel appeared near my bed. His gaze skimmed me, a critical inspection that nevertheless had delight skittering through me.
“You should not be up,” he said eventually. “You look exhausted.”
“I need to stretch my legs, and I need to eat.” I hesitated. “How did the meeting with Hunter go?”
“She was well aware of your victory. Apparently, the Cazador witnessed your fight with Rakshasa.”
And that rankled him. Massively. “My getting snatched is not your fault, Azriel. I should have been more aware of what was going on.”
“As should I.” He practically spat the words. “If I had been, I would have stopped the Rakshasa before she dove underground, and you would not be in this state.”
“Which is a point we could argue endlessly, and one that really doesn’t matter anymore.”
I grabbed my dressing gown from the bathroom hook and put it on as I walked across the room. He didn’t react when I stopped in front of him, but the connection between us was stronger than ever before. His emotions were a tidal wave that crashed through every fiber of my being, a tumultuous mix of desire, caring, and anger. If I’d had the energy, I would have danced. He might be determined to hold what lay between us at arm’s length, but at least he couldn’t deny the strength of it. Not when it hummed so fiercely.
“In the end, the only thing that matters is that I did what the council wanted and survived.” I paused, then grimaced. “My only regret is that with the Rakshasa gone, the ghosts have no outlet for their fury, and the club has no reason to stop that room from being used.”
“The grief of the ghosts is powerful enough that it will attract other dark forces. This will not be the last we hear of that room.”
“Unfortunately.” I rubbed my arms against the chill of premonition. “We can only hope that next time, the council do their own fucking dirty work.”
“I doubt they will now that they have your services to call on in such matters.”
I raised my eyebrows. “So the vote has gone in my favor?”
“Hunter seems confident it will. The Cazador’s report was apparently impressive.”
He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close. I sighed contentedly and rested my cheek against his shoulder.
“There is nothing you can do about the club or the council’s use of the whores,” he continued softly. “Not without endangering yourself or anyone you told.”
“I know, and that’s what’s so frustrating.”
His lips brushed the top of my head, the touch so light and yet so electric. I shivered.
“Those behind such an atrocity will in the end pay. Karma is a very real force.”
