Page 42 of A Countess of Convenience

First, and probably the least likely path, would be to do nothing else and allow the Chancery Court to rule based on Judith as the widowed head of the household at Ruecroft. Her inheritance would be more than adequate and if she hired a good steward, she, her mother, and Anna would want for nothing their entire lives. Anna’s dowry would not be as handsome as it would with Lord Downing’s inheritance, but it would attract suitors who would be interested in Anna and not her fortune.

Unfortunately, Judith suspected, as Mr. Blanchard had all but admitted, the courts would likely not rule in favor of a sole woman as guardian.

The next possible course would be to marry and propose her and her husband as guardians. Even Judith had to admit this choice would be much more attractive to the courts than giving her sole custody. She and her husband could argue their age alone made for a better alternative than the Downings. Should Downing, who must be upward of fifty, die in the next ten years, another guardian would have to take his place. Why not install one now whose natural life would be more comparable to Anna’s? An added argument would be the elevated rank and social position she and her husband could extend to Anna when she came of age. Were she a judge, such arguments would be most persuasive.

That left only the decision of which man she should marry. Judith rose, pulled the shawl close again, and wandered to the window. The light had gone, but she stood there anyway, observing the shadows lengthen across the rear garden, trying to decide which man would serve her purpose better.

Until this afternoon, Judith would have said John unequivocally. He was the gentleman with whom she’d planned the scheme, the only one she’d known of at the time who would marry her under these unfortunate circumstances. Now that Miles had made his intentions known, did John remain the best candidate?

First and foremost, she did not know Miles at all well. She’d learned next to nothing about his antecedents, other than that his uncle had left him the title unexpectedly. He was an excellent physician with a brisk bedside manner that suited Judith well. That she’d been thinking about the earl ever since they’d met said she held him in more than a little esteem and affection. He was an attractive man, kind, and similar in temperament to her. Those things made him a strong contender for the role of husband.

His biggest drawback was the lack of any spark whatsoever between them. Perhaps because they had been physician and patient for so long, his touch did not excite her in the least. Not even when he’d kissed her cheek had she an inkling of a tingle throughout her body. Could such a thing be acquired or learned? She’d not had such a problem with Simon, and God knew not with John, not when they’d almost—

A rap on the door broke her train of thought. “Come.” Cook’s dishes would need to be extraordinary this evening to tempt her to eat. “Put the tray on the table, please.”

“I’m sorry but I’ve come bearing no gifts.”

Judith whirled around to stare into John’s gently smiling face. “I…I thought you were the footman. Kitty said she would send up a tray.” She couldn’t bear to stand here talking to John. “I don’t wish to dine downstairs tonight.”

“I quite understand. I will not disturb your evening except to ask if you require anything else. My house is at your disposal.” It was simply said, and from another man would have been a perfunctory statement. From John’s lips, however, it was the simple truth. Anything she wished, from the carriage to a ten-course meal to the furnishing from John’s own chambers, would be instantly given to her.

“Thank you, John. I cannot thank you enough for your kindness to me at this most distressing time.” She gazed up at him, seeking comfort only he could give her. “I have not had time for Pappa’s death to truly sink in. I cannot imagine that I will ride up to the front of Ruecroft at some time in the future and he will not be there to welcome me.” Her throat tightened with unshed tears. “Oh, John. He is gone, isn’t he?”

“My dear.” In three strides he was before her, gathering her into his arms, urging her head onto his chest. “I’m so sorry, but yes, your father is gone.”

She burrowed into his arms, sobbing out all the heartbreak she’d been forced to constrain in her effort to save her child. “I don’t want him to be gone. I want him here with me, as he’s always been. It’s so wrong that when I need him most, he’s not here. He was the one I could always depend upon. I need him, John. I do. Because I don’t know what to do.”

Gently, John put her from him a little, until she could see his face, kind and handsome, looking down at her with a new intensity in his eyes. “Marry me, Judith.”

Chapter 17

Surely she’d not heard him right? There was a peculiar roaring in her ears, and her head was spinning again…

“Judith.”

Someone was patting her face, and not too gently.

“Judith, can you hear me? Where is the infernal bell in this room?”

Her body shook as something left the bed. Judith opened her eyes. Yes, she was lying on top of her bed. She glanced around the room and there was John, yanking on the bellpull beside the door. “You don’t need to pull it from the wall, John.”

His head jerked at the sound of her voice. “Judith! Thank heaven.” He dropped the bellpull and rushed to the bed. “Are you all right? You gave me a turn when you swooned.”

“It’s not the first time today, I fear.” She sat up in bed, and the room began to spin. “I think I should perhaps remain in bed for a while. Until my head decides to behave itself.” Easing back onto the pillows, Judith closed her eyes and breathed deeply. At last, the chamber came to a complete halt. She opened her eyes to John conversing in a low voice with a servant.

“Mr. Felty, in Gracechurch street. Send Joseph, he’s best on a horse.”

The footman bowed and fled the room.

John glanced back at her and hurried to her side. “Are you feeling better? Your face is extremely pale.”

“I will be fine. It’s been a difficult day.” She wished for nothing so much as to be left alone. “Who is Mr. Felty?”

“The doctor I use when we are in Town. Please do not attempt to rise, Judith. I would hate to have to call in the servants to restrain you.”

Lying back down, Judith glared at him. “I know you’d do it too.”

“Our friendship is like a game of chess.” He grinned and pulled a blanket up over her. “We each know what the other is thinking and what we are capable of doing before we do it.”