Page 98 of Dandelions and Smoke

He flashes me the lopsided grin that looks identical to my own and rolls his eyes before kicking my swing so that it shifts from comfortable to chaotic.

“Do you?” he quips, making me laugh harder as I try to return my swing to its factory calm setting. “Listen, I know I’m new to this whole big brother thing, but I think you gotta give me a little slack here. It’s in the genetic code to be a little overprotective.”

“A little?” I shoot forward, my laughter almost causing me to fall off the swing entirely.

His lips press together, his eyes unblinking, and his expression flat. “You done?”

I laugh harder, causing his smile to break through the cracks.

Finally I settle down, and we watch the rain together.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I whisper.

“Me too,” he says, looking down at the ground before looking back at me. “I shouldn’t have let you leave like that. I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have stopped me.” I shrug, letting him off the hook but feeling my heart swell around the feeling of being seen and cared for.

After another stretch of silence passes, Blake sighs and looks at me with a soft, sad smile. “My mom would have liked him.”

“Really?” I whisper, afraid to trust my own voice as tears pool in my eyes and I smile.

“Yeah.” He nods, the corners of his eyes glistening in the light. “Do you remember what my mom told you to tell me?”

“Being that my Spanish is still mediocre at best, and it left my brain the second I told you, not at all,” I tease, trying to smile past the hollow feeling of missing someone that opens inside me. Sara may not have been my mom, but she was a mom to me.

“Recuerda por qué vale la pena luchar,” Blake says. “Remember what’s worth fighting for.”

A broken laugh claws up my throat and I wipe at the corner of my eye.

“Of course she would leave you with one last message that could be shared with me.”

“Whatever the two of you are about to face might not be easy,” he says, shooting it straight. “But that man earned my respect when he showed me exactly how he’s willing to fight for you. I thought he was also going to fight me too, but that’s beside the point.”

“Wait, what?”

He waves me off. “My point is, what you two have is worth it. I see that now and I’m sorry I didn’t sooner.”

His apology catches me off guard. For a second, I just stare at him, my heart squeezing at the sincerity in his voice.

Then a small smile pulls at my lips. “That was hard for you, wasn’t it?”

“Shut up,” he laughs, kicking at the swing. Of course, this time he gets it right, sending me tumbling off in a fit of laughter before we head inside and call it a night.

“I’ve gotta say, there are worse places you could have run off to,” Tris mutters, hearing me walk up behind her but not turning around, her arms crossed as she looks out at the horses in the pasture.

The past few days she’s spent more time tending to them than speaking to me. With all of the running back and forth to the hospital I’ve been doing to see Lettie, Lucas, and the baby, she probably hoped I wouldn’t notice.

But I know her.

Her sarcasm is a defense mechanism dressed up as entertainment. As much as she loves horses and being able to ride them, she’s using them as an excuse to keep her distance from me.

Chewing on my lip, I walk past her and hop onto the post-and-rail fence, taking a seat on the wooden rail and turning away from her. Together, we watch the horses as they graze, the only warmth between us coming from the setting sun as it casts a soft orange glow over the fields. Lowering my gaze, I look for the words to say.

“I’m sorry,” I sigh, figuring it’s a good place to start.

She glances at me before returning her attention to the horse. There aren’t many people Tris allows close enough to hurt her, but I know the way I left did, even if she won’t say it out loud.

“I needed time and space to figure everything out, and I couldn’t do that at home. I’m not trying to make any excuses. I want you to know that staying away from you or Ainsley was never an option.”