Page 143 of Until the Last Star Fades

Ben nodded.

Her face relaxed. “Oh. Okay! So, you leave and then come right back.” She wiped away a tear with her free hand.

“I could, but only as a visitor—not staying for longer than ninety days, and I wouldn’t be able to work. I was lucky getting that visa the first time, even luckier getting it renewed, but the chances of it happening a third time are slim to none. There’s no ‘third time lucky’ for me, Riley. I have to be realistic.”

“Well, stay illegally, then!” Riley nodded, like she was trying to convince herself it was a great idea. “Lots of people do. You could work for Hunter. You know he’d keep you on.”

“Yeah, but what kind of life would that be? Always looking over my shoulder, making next to nothing as a courier. You can’t afford to pay my way, and I’d never expect you to. I want to make something of myself. I want to make you proud of me.” Tears trickled down his cheeks.

“I am proud of you, Ben.” She held his face in her hands, his damp stubble scratching her palms.

“And if I stayed here illegally, I’d never be able to go home. The minute I flew to London and then tried to come back here, U.S. immigration would be all over my ass. They’d scan my passport, see how long I had been in the States, and I’d be refused entry. The immigration guy said illegals who do this get banned for ten years. A decade, Riles!”

Bowing her head, tears raced down to her chin and lingered before dropping to her sweatshirt.

Ben bent his neck to look into her eyes. “Riley love, it’s not worth risking, not if it stops me coming back to see you.”

She looked up, all mascara smudges and determination, fighting through her tears. “Well…marry me, then.”

He chuckled and slipped into a soft smile. “Hope…”

Riley didn’t laugh. “I’ll marry you. I’m serious.”

“Gorgeous girl, I know you are.” Ben swept her hair, damp from tears, off her cheeks. “But I’m on immigration’s watch list now. They wouldn’t believe we were in love. They’d say we did it for the green card and then we’d both be in trouble.” He kissed her forehead. “And think about it, love—be honest—do you really want a husband right now? When you’re starting your career? When opportunities are coming your way? You begin your job on Monday, Riles. After everything with Josh, I think we both know the answer—”

“But I’m in love with you! That’s the difference.”

“And I love you, but that’s why we shouldn’t rush to beat some stupid deadline.”

She tilted her head and fresh tears raced down her cheeks. Ben put a finger under her chin, lifting her face up to meet his.

“Hey, I would marry you so hard!” He chuckled wistfully. “But I want to do it right. I want to give you a romantic proposal one day that will make you snog my face off. I want you to say yes—but at the right time and for the right reasons. I want us to last. Riley, it would kill me to lose you for good…” He kissed her softly, her salty tears on his lips. “I’ll go home to London, get a job, save enough money, and come back.”

Riley shuddered, trying to catch her breath. “When do you have to leave?”

“Well, they said I shouldn’t delay. The sooner I leave, the faster I can come back—”

“Ben…” She pleaded, looking into his eyes. “When?”

“Wednesday.”

“Wednes…that’s only—” She struggled to swallow. “In five days, you’ll be gone.”

“But I’m here now.” He took her face in his hands, tenderly kissing her lips.

• • •

Recycling trucks were doing their noisy best to rouse St. Mark’s Place at 3 A.M., but Riley was wide awake. Lying in bed with Ben’s head resting on her chest, she stroked his hair while her mind worked overtime. When all the bad stuff piles on, I tell myself ‘this too shall pass’ and I try my best to believe it, but…that means I have to accept that the good things in my life—moments like this with Ben—will pass, too, and that breaks my heart. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m savoring the sweet moments as much as I should, and by the time I clue in, they’re gone and it’s all too late.

“Ahhh, that feels nice,” Ben purred.

“You’re awake?” Riley whispered. “Do you need another pain killer?”

“Not yet.” Raising his head, Ben groaned and shifted back onto the pillow, his abdomen bruised from hitting the bike’s handlebars. “Have you slept?”

“No. I can’t stop thinking…” Riley pulled up the duvet so it covered both of them. “What are we going to do?”

“What we talked about earlier—the long-distance thing. You’ve done it before, so you’re a pro!”