Page 78 of Until the Last Star Fades

“No. I’m scared of needles.”

“Ahh, okay! That’s why you don’t have a tattoo.”

“Partially, yeah.”

“Hunter suggested I donate sperm for cash.”

Riley shot him a wide-eyed look.

“I didn’t!” Ben laughed. “Wanking on demand over a porno vid? At least take me out for drinks first!” Why isn’t she laughing? “The blood money saved me, though. I won’t get paid for another two weeks, and tips are thin on the ground. I made thirty bucks but blew most of it already. I need a second job.”

“Ben, you shouldn’t have bought me lunch.”

“I wanted to.”

They stopped at the intersection of Seventh and West 54th, their conversation halting along with the southbound traffic. Hmm, maybe New York is like London—no fun when you’re broke? He did a second take. Shit! Is her lip trembling? She’s fighting it, but she looks like she might burst into tears. Ben scratched his chin. I think I insulted her at the diner. I pretty much said she’s not shag-worthy, which actually couldn’t be farther from the truth! Fuck, Fagan. Fix this. Be kind. Be a friend. “Lunch was my thank you for letting me stay over and for going dancing. Most fun I’ve had in forever. I swear all the blokes were checking you out, and I felt like, ‘Yeah, she’s with me, suckers!’”

A tight grin flashed his way and then vanished, lost amidst the crowds crossing the street.

She keeps slipping away. Fuck, I DID insult her. “Riles, is everything okay? Did I do something?”

“You? No!” She nudged her sunglasses up her nose as they stepped underneath metal scaffolding erected around a building undergoing a facelift. She cleared her throat, but scratchiness clung to her voice. “I’m just stressed about graduation, life after…”

Phew! I didn’t hurt her.

“The pressure to find a job, pay back my loans…the future—it’s getting scary.”

“That’s why I like acting. I can pretend to be someone else for a while.”

She hugged her middle, but the comforting gesture didn’t erase the tremor in her voice or the unwanted tears collecting behind her sunglasses. “I feel like I’m about to be shot out of a cannon without a safety net.”

“I think that’s normal. We’ve all felt it—I still do.”

“I read about arts cuts, and it makes me worry I’ll never find a job. Even if I do find one, the salary will be pathetic. Mom will worry, I’ll get further in debt…”

“But won’t your internship turn into something? Didn’t Piper’s?”

“Yeah, she’s headed back to LA in October, but for me, there’s no guarantee. Everyone wants to work at the BBC—you should see the resumes my boss gets.” Her hands shifted away from her waist, her fingers spinning the ring on her right hand. “I thought I knew what I was doing but…I feel like I’m questioning everything.”

“I’m always questioning everything. I don’t think that’s bad. It keeps you on your toes.” Ben hung back for a moment, allowing a woman with a toddler to pass. Riley’s really fidgety. There’s more to this. Something isn’t right. “Riles, did something happen this week?”

Crossing her arms, she looked away. Her fingers dug into her sleeves.

“Monday, you were telling off sidewalk cyclists and drunken pricks. Where’d that Riley go?”

She swallowed a sob. “I called off my engagement—Josh and I broke up yesterday.”

Seriously? Holy shit! A spike of adrenaline made Ben straighten up. His eyes widened. “Jesus, what happened?”

“We’ve been drifting apart—well, me more than him. I fell out of love with him…months ago.”

Fell out of…months ago?! Ben’s heart clenched. She’s single…

The pavement grasped Riley’s attention. “I thought my feelings would change with the engagement, but they didn’t.” Her fingers flew under her sunglasses, dabbing away tears before they could fall.

Aw, don’t cry. He reached out to console her but pulled back before making contact. His hands didn’t know what to do. “You gave it a proper go, though, right? When you feel something in your gut…” Like I do! Oh, Riley, why didn’t you say something over lunch? Before my ‘I need a friend’ bollocks.

She sniffed and wiped her nose. “Yeah, but I was afraid to admit it.”