Page 95 of Until the Last Star Fades

“Aww, I bet it did.”

“Yeah, for a while. There was an old record player in the home and I’d play it all the time, but one day after school, I heard yelling and banging upstairs. I shared a room with two other boys and one of them—not sure who—had smashed it to pieces. I burst into tears and they laughed their arses off, called me a ‘sucky crybaby’, which made me cry even more…about the record, about missing Mum—everything.” He rubbed his nose. “The one thing she gave me to look after…”

“But it wasn’t your fault.”

A tear trickled down his cheek and his fist rose quickly, smothering it. “Sorry. This really took me back for a minute.” DAMMIT, get your shit together, mate.

Riley wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I can’t imagine. Twelve years old, being taken away from my mom—sharing a bedroom with bullies…I would’ve been bawling. I probably would’ve thrown up.”

“Yeah. I did that, too.” He cleared his throat. “I hated disappointing Mum then—I still do! You know how it is.” Admiring the record, a soft grin rose on his face. “If we could talk to our younger selves now, eh? Dust yourself off, don’t let the bastards grind you down, and always make your mum proud.”

“Did you speak to her today?” Riley pulled her arm away, slowly.

“Yeah, this morning. She prefers chatting when I’m not pissed.”

“You’re pretty sober now, birthday boy.” She stuck her big toe inside a Funyun on the floor.

He set his presents on the milk crate and playfully leaned into her shoulder. Riley didn’t shift away. “Yeah, I paced myself. I wanted to remember my first birthday in New York.”

“First of many.”

“I hope so.” Catching her eye, butterflies swirled in his stomach. Should I? God, I want to kiss her so badly and…I think she does, too? He tilted his head, staring at her lips. A first kiss changes everything…

Riley stopped blinking and swallowed. Full lips parting slightly, she sucked in a breath, waiting.

I’m in over my head…what do I do? What if I fall in love with her and she doesn’t love me back? Ben let out a jagged exhale, cursing his past. And if she does fall in love with me…if I break her heart, I’ll never forgive myself. I…I can’t risk it. He pressed his lips tenderly to her cheek and pulled away, retreating into the cushions.

Forty-One

“Blew. It!” Piper’s frown fought to reach her jaw. “I was hoping for a romantic sleepover with Cicely but instead of kissing her, I was hugging porcelain.” Lying on the loveseat cocooned in an un-Piper-like tank and sweatpants combo, she scratched her messy nest of hair. “Oh…” She tugged her phone from her waistband and hit the voice memo app. “Buy toothbrush to keep at Cice’s.” She stopped recording and let out a groan.

Riley rustled a large trash bag, tossing plastic cups into it.

“Urghhh! Room, puh-lease stop torturing me?! I think the subway ride gave me vertigo.”

You don’t have vertigo! “You should’ve stayed at Cicely’s. I was going to—”

“Invite Ben over for round two?”

I’m not in the mood for this. Pretending not to hear, Riley crawled across the floor, tossing Funyuns and popcorn into the bag trailing behind her.

“So, did Ben like his present?”

“He loved the record. He says they tour sometimes and we should go—”

“No, no, NO. That’s not what I meant!” She propped herself up and froze, her smirk slipping. “Oh, fuck. You didn’t…on my bed, did you?”

“No!”

Piper leaned forward, desperate for information. “So…?”

“He kissed me on the cheek and left. It was…” Riley yawned, scratching her jaw. “Almost 4 A.M.” She resumed picking up junk food from the floor.

“Annnnd you didn’t give him a hand-job? Or let him put his hand up your dress? What is this, Downton Abbey? I’d raise my eyebrows but they hurt!” Piper winced. “I swore you guys were gonna fuck last night. His little speech? My God—he has it bad! And he wouldn’t leave you alone at the club. When you weren’t spinning around like lunatics, you couldn’t fit a piece of paper between the two of you—”

“Yeah, it was packed.” Riley scooped up a Funyun. “Barely room to breathe.”

“Seriously. I stay at Cice’s to give you privacy and you waste it.”