I remember looking down at him and thinking two things:
First, that I should probably call someone.
Second, that we were never getting that out.
The second thought felt more urgent.
That is how I know the dream was mine.
I sit up.
No blood. No body.
Just Reid’s empty side of the bed.
Unfortunately, the mistake was real.
I slept with him.
On purpose, even.
I listen until the silence confirms Reid has left the apartment.
Daylight makes the place look smaller somehow. Bed. Desk. Kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Coffee maker on the counter. A glass in the sink.
I find my blouse on the floor by the desk. My jeans on the chair. My bra on the lamp.
My mouth tastes like wine and more mistakes than I can count.
Last night rearranges itself in daylight.
He offered to pretend to be my dead husband.
And I said yes.
Not because I believed him. Not because I needed convincing.
Because somewhere between Austin and Lisbon, I ran out of good decisions.
What happened is that I slept with Reid while he insisted he was someone else.
I close my eyes.
Excellent.
I have no doubt this man is Reid. None.
But now he has a cleaner story: a grieving widow followed a stranger across an ocean, got drunk, asked him to impersonate her husband, and slept with him.
The more certain I sound, the crazier I look.
That was clever.
I hate him for it.
I am not especially pleased with myself either.
I get dressed slowly. My hands are shaking, which I notice and decide to ignore, which is its own kind of warning. There is a bruise on my elbow I do not remember getting. There is one on my hip I do remember.