Page 121 of Alpha’s Possession

I feel like I am dying. That my heart will stop at any second. Sweat beads and rolls down my neck. My phone starts ringing. I can feel my mates’ panic bleeding into me, reinforcing my own, solidifying it in place. I find myself frozen, staring at the screen's dash with their names popping up. I am losing my damn mind, losing myself in grief, anger, and guilt.

Never in my life have I suffered a panic attack, but my life is so chaotic right now, I’m not too surprised. The very seams I have been trying to hold together toss me blindly into the new experience. Names keep popping up as Raidon, Leon, and Elaine try calling me. I know they can feel it and know it is a foreign feeling for them from me. My hands are locked on the steering wheel as I try to break through the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I can hear them in my head, trying to talk to me. I hear the mind-link open. I am muted, stunned, and embarrassed by what is happening. I feel weak, and just as it feels like it is easing, another surge rushes through me.

The Bluetooth speaker starts ringing again; a private number pops up while they keep telling me to answer their calls, telling me to pick up and calm down. With great force, my finger slides over the button on the steering wheel.

“Thane?”

Silence

“You’re scaring everyone, please speak.”

The moment I hear her voice I break. The panic attack lifts and is replaced with grief for what I lost. I lost the family I created. I hurt her, and yet here she is, calling me despite her fear. Whether it is because she cares or because they asked her to, I don’t care. I’m just relieved and destroyed at the same time hearing her voice.

“You’re okay, Thane. I’m right here,” she tells me as I press my head against the steering wheel. I suck in a huge lung-full of air, feeling as if my lungs had compressed.

“Breathe, Thane, it will pass. Just listen to my voice, and breathe,” she says.

I nod, focusing on her voice while I cry stupidly into my steering wheel. I feel ridiculous—I didn’t even cry at my parents' funerals. I didn’t cry when Tara turned up dead. I never cry. I always saw it as weakness.

Yet here I am, crying over Harlow leaving us, crying over the shame I feel knowing I let my mother down; crying over the woman I want to protect more than anything, but who I hurt beyond belief all because I am too stubborn to see what is right in front of my face. She isn’t capable of hurting anyone. I blamed her so I didn’t have to blame myself. Rhen was right. I blamed her because I needed to believe I didn’t waste the past couple years hating the woman I now love.

Chapter Ninety

~Thane~

Harlow hangs up the moment she hears Rhen’s voice outside my car. I’m still parked on the side of the road when they find me. Rhen says nothing as he peers down at me, and I rest my head back on the head rest.

“You got her to call me,” I breathe and I close my eyes.

“No, but she was on the phone with Leon when we felt you freak out.”

So she called on her own accord, not because they asked her to? I swallow and nod my head.

“You’re not driving like this—climb over to the passenger seat,” Rhen says, pushing on my arm to make me move. Sighing, I relent and do as he tells me, quickly moving to the other seat as he climbs into the car.

“Are we going home?” I ask him.

“Is that where you want me to drop you?” he asks, and I turn my head to look at him.

“Are you all coming home?” I ask him and he purses his lips but says nothing.

“I want to go wherever you are all going,” I tell him. He nods once, and we follow Raidon back to his parents' new place.

The Hamptons-looking home is vast, and it’s everything Elaine has always wanted. It is also out of the city and surrounded by forest. Rhen pulls into the garage and shuts the car off before climbing out. Elaine stands by the door, staring at the cars as she worries her lip between her teeth. I find no comfort here, even surrounded by my mates. When I don't climb out of the car, Raidon opens my door, looking at me expectantly.

“Come on, Mom made lunch,” he tells me. I nod once before he steps aside. I follow him through the house. With neutral tones and high ceilings, it resembles a show home. I know Elaine is very house proud, she always has been.

“Are you staying the night dear?” she asks me as I step into the huge gallery-style kitchen that overlooks the living room with its open floor plan and sweeping polished floors.

I look at Raidon. It’s his mother’s house, not mine, and I’m not sure I am welcome despite her asking. I take a seat on the couch. Leon comes in moments later and watches me closely as he moves toward the living area. I want to feel anger at him for draining me, for knocking me out, yet I feel nothing but numb, desensitized to the anger I felt before.

He stops in front of me, as if asking for my forgiveness. It is me who should be asking for theirs. When he doesn’t move to sit, I reach for him, gripping his wrist and tugging him down next to me. He sighs, leaning against me. I can feel his burning hunger, the need to feed from his Alpha. As strong as it is for Harlow.

“Yes, Ma, he’s staying the night,” Raidon answers. I don’t realize how much I am hoping he would say yes until the words spill from his lips. Elaine smiles fondly at her son. We’ve always been close, and after a little while, I find myself relaxing in her new home.

* * *

The night is long as my mates settle into the routine they’ve had for the past few days here. Raidon’s father goes to bed early. The local hospital is understaffed right now, and he is called in to assist on early morning rounds.