Page 112 of How to Kill Your Rival

‘Sit down, Mrs Cairns.’

She sighs like I’ve told her I kicked her cat. ‘I like helping.’

‘Sit down anyway.’

‘The coleslaw needs⁠—’

‘The coleslaw is done,’ Maggie says, dropping off the wall. ‘I finished it. Go and sit with Dad.’

Mrs Cairns looks from one sibling to another before placing her buttery weapon on the plate and frowning. Sweeping in, I gather a glass of the toxic-looking punch James made and put it in her hand before shooing her over to the seats.

‘Five minutes,’ she agrees with great reluctance.

Coffin caws as I pass the barbecue, and I scoop up a raw burger with a napkin and sneak it to him. Thankfully, Fraser will be seasoning on the grill rather than in the burger mix. The crow doesn’t tuck into the burger when I put it down, but waits for me to fetch him a bowl of water for him to dip his burger chunks into.

‘You wee drama queen,’ I say.

‘Och, you kids spoil that feathered beast,’ Dad says.

‘You were the one letting him sleep in your lap last night,’ Maggie interjects.

‘Not only last night.’ Fraser points his metal spatula at Dad.

Dad’s cheeks flush before he grumbles into his whisky. ‘You shush and get the damned grill going; I’m starving.’

It’s so good to see Dad well again. His appetite is back. Not just for food but for experiences and family time.

‘Move,’ I say.

‘I’ve nearly got it.’

‘Fraser.’

He shifts aside and lets me try. Admittedly, it’s fiddly as fuck. After a few minutes and multiple matches, I manage to get it going with only a near miss on losing my eyebrows.

‘Beginner’s luck,’ Fraser says.

‘Or more experience with burning things.’ I nudge my brother.

Fraser points at me like this proves something. I have no idea what.

Before long, we’re all tucking into burgers and salad, Roman and James joining us with a fresh bucket of beers.

‘Hey, babe,’ I say as he hands me a cold one before giving me a kiss. I love that even after all this time, we’re no less obsessed with each other.

He leans in for a second kiss but diverts at the last moment and takes a huge bite of my burger. Like a quarter-of-the-burger-in-one-go affair.

‘Hey!’ I yank my burger out of his reach but can’t help but laugh as his face screws up.

‘What the fuck,’ he says through the mouthful of stolen meat.

‘What?’

‘Is there salad cream on there?’ James keeps chewing but looks as aghast as if he’d found fucking caterpillars in my burger.

‘Yeah. So?’

‘Good lord. Two years of dating and I find out that you’re a maniac.’ James takes the beer he just handed me and takes a long drink.