Page 49 of Sanctuary After Dark

The cross stayed where it was. It didn’t move. It didn’t reach for me.

And slowly, so slowly it felt like cheating, I started to believe that maybe I didn’t have to be afraid of it anymore.

Not here.

Not now.

Not like before.

Not with them.

Slowly, I pulled myself away from their grounding touch and moved closer to the cross as it leaned against the wall taunting me.

I knew that my Daddies were with me, but I also knew that I had to do this part on my own.

Coming to a stop in front of the cross, I let my eyes look over it. My brown and blue eyes took in the wooden arms of the cross that were stained a dark brown. The black leather padding. The restraints were lined with soft-looking fur. Not the harsh barbed wire that was on the one I was used to. The barbed wire that had been modified to not cut into any major veins or arteries, so I couldn't even escape with death.

But he would make it out as if he were doing me a favor. That he was so kind to remove the barbs that would have cut into my veins and killed me.

Anger bubbled up in my chest as I let my eyes run over the frame and replay the memories of all the times he had me on there at his mercy. The scars that remained on my body and mind.

All the times he had told me I was lucky he kept me around because no one else would want me. That I was too needy and too pathetic. That I was disgusting for the things that I liked. That I was ugly and whiny and too much.

My hands balled into fists at my sides as I shook with anger now instead of panic. I struck out with my fist and hit the padding with a soft thud.

It wasn't enough though.

My nails drug down the leather padding, scratching it. My fists flew at the arms and my feet kicked at it. I cried out as I hit it, over and over again. I didn't even register the others yelling at me to stop. I didn't register the pain in my knuckles from hitting the wood with so much force that it wobbled.

"Elias! Baby, stop! You're hurting yourself!"

I ignored him and kept hitting and yelling and kicking until the cross fell over and hit the ground, and even then, I continued to kick at it until I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me away.

"No! Let me go! Let me go!!!"

I watched as the cross got smaller and smaller as one of my Daddies carried me out of the room. The entire time I was kicking and scratching and yelling for him to put me down so I could finish what I started.

"You wanna fight somethin'? Then I'll let you fight. But not an inanimate object that you're hurting yourself on."

I continued to thrash in Lincoln's arms as he carried me towards the back door and outside. I vaguely heard Lucas tell Alec not to let anyone onto the trails until they came out.

I watched in a blur as I was carried through the backyard. I saw the faces of my friends with concern in their eyes and heard them asking Lucas if I was alright, but the anger had taken hold of me now.

The sky was darkening around us and I felt little drops of rain hit my skin as Lincoln carried me away. Away from a piece of furniture that symbolized so much for me. The rain picked up and it darkened more once we got under the cover of the trees. The canopy doing nothing to stop the rain from hitting us.

But I didn't care. I continued to kick and scratch and push at Lincoln's arms to get free from him. I wanted to get back to the cross. I wanted to destroy it, like it had destroyed me.

Chapter 16

Following Lincoln out of the house with Alec, I watched as he carried our boy while he fought and screamed. I knew that my brother would have bruises and scratches after this, but I also knew that Elias needed this. He needed an outlet to get his anger out. Anger that had been building for years.

I knew exactly where my brother was going as I turned to Alec.

"Keep everyone away from the trails for now until we come back."

He nodded, and I turned and jogged after Lincoln and Elias towards the wooded area behind the house. I could hear Alec getting everyone's attention and telling them that the trails were closed until further notice. Rain started to fall around us as we took him further away from the house.

We knew this was coming. Lincoln and I had spoken to Alec about this, and we had seen the signs. The more confidence he got in himself and the more he healed, the angrier he was going to be at Jack and what he had done to him. He had been holding himself back, and we knew it was only a matter of time before something triggered him and he exploded.