Page 51 of Sanctuary After Dark

"I let him? Are you fucking kidding me, Lincoln?" Elias growled as he stormed back over and got into Lincoln's face, the rain all but forgotten as he glared at him. My brother just smirked down at him as Elias shoved at his chest. "Fuck you, Lincoln! You have no idea what I went through with him! You don't know how much I tried to get away in the beginning! I had no way out! You think I chose that? To live in terror every single fucking day?! You think I chose to be manipulated?! To have someone tell me over and over again that they loved me and they knew what was best only for them to fucking torture me and let people rape me?! You think I just woke up one day and decided to hand him my entire life?! Do you think that anyone chooses to be abused?!

"No. They don’t. It starts with trust. With kindness. With someone making you feel safe. They tell you you're special, that they'll protect you, and that they'll never hurt you. They become your home. They earn your trust because how could they not? They're perfect." His voice trembled with anger as he got into Lincoln’s face. “And then the rules start changing."

Elias let out a humorless laugh as he pushed Lincoln's chest.

“They apologize after they hit you. They cry. They bring flowers and gifts. They get on their knees and apologize over and over. They promise it’ll never happen again. They convince you it was a misunderstanding. That it was your fault. That you provoked them. That if you were just a little quieter, a little better, a little more obedient, things would go back to the way they were.

"They don’t steal your life all at once. They take it one fucking piece at a time. Your confidence goes first. Then your friends. Your job. Everything that made you independent? Gone. Because you should rely solely on them. They'll take care of you. Your voice? Silenced. Then, little by little, it's your ability to trust your own instincts because they made you believe they were wrong. They make you question your memories, your judgment, your reality until you don’t even recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. And every time you think about leaving, they remind you why you’re afraid. They make sure the consequences feel bigger than the escape. Because somehow, in the time you were losing yourself, they stopped apologizing.”

"You could have left anytime you wanted, Elias. But you let him rent you out and make you his whore for whoever would pay him for you. You rolled over and just let it happen. I'm starting to think that you wanted it all to happen."

Elias growled and shoved him harder, making Lincoln stumble a bit and step back, but our boy kept coming at him, hitting his chest repeatedly.

"Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!!! I never wanted that! I said no over and over again, but he never listened! Just beat me again and again until I couldn't say no anymore! People don’t choose to be abused! They choose to believe someone who promised to love them! By the time they realize that love was a lie, they’re already fighting just to remember who they were before someone convinced them they were nothing!”

"You can always say no, Elias. You didn't try hard enough."

"He didn't listen! I had no one! He made sure of that! He made me quit my job and sell my car, and stop talking to all my friends! Even if I got away, I had nothing, and he made sure of that!"

My heart was breaking as I watched Elias break. We were all going to need aftercare after this because I knew Lincoln was going to hate himself for everything that he said. He took every single kick and punch and scratch from our boy as he screamed and yelled at him. Not once did Lincoln hit back. He just let Elias take his anger out on him, holding that stony facade, but I could see how much he was breaking underneath. I could see the pain in his eyes as he watched our boy finally break.

"I begged him to stop! I begged him to let me go! But every time I did, he would beat me until I blacked out! I didn't want to hurt anymore, so I just did what he said. I kept my mouth shut so he would stop beating me… but then he let others beat me and rape me and do whatever they wanted to me. I c-couldn't leave… I was so scared… he said he would kill me if I left! And I believed him! He would have..."

Tears were tracking down his face mixed with the rain as his hits got weaker the more he yelled. The more he relived what he had gone through. I wanted to rush over and wrap my arms around him and hold him close, but he needed this.

"But… but… eventually I wished I had died! I begged him to just kill me! To put me out of my misery because I didn't want to hurt anymore. Then he started giving me drugs… they made everything disappear, even for a little bit, and it was such a relief to have any kind of escape from him..."

"But you didn't die, Elias. You survived, and he's rotting in jail. You got clean and you're here with us."

Lincoln spoke softly to him, and I knew he was fighting back the urge to pull him close as well.

Just a little more, little bunny.

"I didn't survive! I'm just existing! He was supposed to love me! He was supposed to protect me and take care of me! That's what Daddies do! But he lied to me!! He lied to me and manipulated me and groomed me! He broke me down until I was nothing and just kept beating me to keep me down. To keep me dependent on him! He broke me and took everything from me, and I hate him! I hate him so much and I wish he were dead!"

Our boy looked up into the canopy of trees and as the rain fell down on him he let out the most heartbreaking scream I had ever heard as he dropped to his knees in the mud and brush. His hands came to his chest, and he leaned forward as he kept screaming, letting it all out. Lincoln fell to the ground on his knees in front of him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and letting him scream and cry.

"Let it out, mo laoch. It's okay, I got you. Let it go."

I practically ran over and fell to the forest floor behind Elias, and wrapped my arms around him as well, encompassing him in both of us. My eyes took in my twin as I saw the tears running down his face, matching my own.

"He was supposed to love me… he was s-supposed to be my D-Daddy… I hate h-him..."

We let him get everything out while we both whispered praise to him, telling him how amazing and beautiful he was. How proud we were to have him as ours. How strong he was and how he amazed us every day.

I looked up at my twin as I pressed a kiss to the back of Elias's head; our eyes met, and he reached out for my hand. I laced our fingers together and nodded. I was so proud of both of them right now, and I knew we were going to take care of each other after this.

I knew tears were wetting my cheeks as well as we all sat on the forest floor as the sky broke apart over us. We held onto each other until Elias’s sobs reduced to little hiccups and he shivered from the emotional release and the cold from being soaked through. I squeezed Lincoln's hand and kissed Elias's head again.

"I think we all need a nice hot bath right now and then to cuddle up in bed. Come on."

Elias nodded weakly, and I extracted myself from him and stood up. Elias only let go of Lincoln long enough for them both to stand up, and then he was clinging to him again. Lincoln gladly picked our boy up and wrapped his legs around his waist as we made our way back to the trail and back towards the house. I looked over at them and saw how Elias had buried his face in Lincoln's neck and clung to him like a lifeline.

They weren't going to let go of one another anytime soon, and I was all right with that. They needed this, and I knew this would be a breakthrough not only with Elias's healing but with our dynamic and relationship as well.

Chapter 17

Staring up at the ceiling, I let my mind wander. I knew I should be sleeping. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but I couldn't shut my brain off as I relived every single moment in the woods.