Page 53 of Sanctuary After Dark

I loved Elias so much, and the thought of losing him was breaking me right now. I swore I could feel my heart fracturing in my chest as I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the shower floor crying. My knees pulled up while my elbows rested on them, and I pulled at my hair.

"I… I can't lose him, L-Luke...I c-can't..."

My brother lowered himself down and reached out to cup my cheek, getting me to look at him as I shook with heavy sobs.

"You're not going to lose him, mo ghrá. I promise you. He still trusts you and you're still his Daddy. You're dropping right now, that's all. But I'm right here. You did what was best for him, and now we can help him carry this weight."

I leaned into his touch, but his words weren't really reaching me as I spiraled in my thoughts. I was going to lose Elias, and so was Luke because I couldn't bear to watch them together and I couldn't give my brother up either. And he was eventually going to resent me for making him lose our boy, too.

"Sir?"

Luke and I both looked up at the sound of Elias's voice, and we saw him standing in the door of the shower watching us. His eyes filled with concern.

Shame washed over me as I turned my face away from him so he couldn't see me falling apart like this. I was supposed to be the strong one. I wasn't supposed to be losing it right now, not long after he had. I was supposed to be there for him, and I couldn't even pull myself together. If anyone was the pathetic one, it was me.

"G-go back to bed, Elias. I'm f-fine."

I stared at the wall, hoping he would listen to me. I didn't want him to see me like this: naked and crying on the shower floor.

Before I knew it, though, he had stepped forward, pushing Luke out of the way and climbing into my lap still in his pajamas that we put him in. My eyes widened as I took him in. He was getting soaked, but he didn't care as he cupped both of my cheeks and forced me to look him in the eye.

"You're not fine, Tatuś. Don't lie to me, please. Let me help you."

I sucked in a shaky breath as I looked into his gorgeous eyes. I was shaking while he brushed his thumbs underneath my eyes, and I closed them to just enjoy the soft touch.

"I'm s-so sorry, Elias… I… I d-didn't mean it. Any of it. I w-would n-never..."

"Shhh. It's okay, Tatuś. I know you didn't mean any of it. You would never mean any of that. You're not like him. You're kind and sweet, and funny. You leave me little candies on my bedside table. You cut up my food for me. You tease me for glaring at your grey sweatpants even when I swear I'm not."

I huffed a laugh at that and couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Y-you do, though..."

"Yeah, well, they're rude."

I heard Luke laughing as well when Elias called them rude.

"My point is, that you're amazing, tatuś. You did something that you knew was going to hurt you and that you didn't want to do because you also knew it would help me. I needed to get that out. I needed that release, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get there on my own. But you did what a Daddy is supposed to do. You pushed me because you knew it would make me better and help me heal. You did it because you knew what was best for me. Not because you meant those words. And I know that and I trust you. I trust you with everything, Tatuś."

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. Water dripped down our faces from the shower that was still falling on us.

"Subs aren't the only ones who need aftercare. Subs aren't the only ones who can drop after something so intense. You and Lucas may be the ones in charge of our dynamic, but I want to take care of you both too, in my own way. So please, let me take care of you."

I looked at him as he spoke, and the sincerity and concern in his eyes metaphorically brought me to my knees. If I didn't love him before, I did now.

Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him close, crushing him to my chest. His arms went around my neck and his legs wrapped fully around my waist as he held me close. His hand moved through my wet hair as I breathed him in and let him calm me.

The water turned off, and Lucas laid a towel around Elias's shoulders, causing us both to look up at him as he held some more in his hands with one wrapped around his waist.

"We'll all be more comfortable and warmer in bed. And we have to get Elias out of these wet clothes… again."

Elias let his forehead fall to my shoulder as he laughed and shrugged.

"I was more concerned about my Tatuś than my clothes."

Leaning back against the shower wall, I looked at him curiously for a moment.

"What does that mean? Tatuś?"