Page 240 of Commanding Scythe and Sky

Because that’s what this bond looked like. Alana Callahan was one of the most ruthless souls on the planet, and even she broke.

Who the fuck did I think I was to even try to withstand it?

For all my anger—for all my fucked-up feelings about my mother’s death—the torment of watching Freya fall at my feet was always worse.

Worse in my helplessness.

Worse in my failure to keep her safe.

Worse in my inability to find the words as she stood frozen in the foyer after we fought our way home. Skin ghost-pale. Eyes vacant as she stared out at the scorched earth.

And so we sat. Watched. The guards changed shifts before Freya finally wiped the tears from her cheeks. She kept her eyes on the new patrol as she whispered, “But I’m sorry. If you feel anything like… well, like this, I’m sorry. For my part in it. I never meant to break you, Cyrus.”

You didn’t. She did. You just cracked apart the frame holding the pieces together and sent them spilling out where I couldn’t hide them anymore.

“Everyone’s broken, Freya.”

“Sure.” She sniffled, taking another drink and passing it back before finding her feet. “I know I can’t fix it. But I’ll make it right. For you—I’ll make it right for you.”

I jammed my eyes closed with a sigh, leaning back against the spire as that vow hit my chest.

“Freya,” I breathed, letting my head fall sideways against the grit of the shingles. She paused beside the window she must’ve climbed out of but didn’t look back. “Just… give me some time. I’m…” Trying. Fucking trying. Even if my brain and mouth were too defective to say it.

Her shoulders stayed tense, but she turned to face me. “I know what it is to be trapped in a binding you didn’t bargain for. Mine wasn’t intentional on her part either, but the effects have been… well, lasting. I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I didn’t mean to do that to you.”

Brows pinching, I asked, “Do what to me?”

“To shackle you. I didn’t mean to shackle you to me. I just… I—we panicked. You were hurting, and I panicked, and Carr said—well, it doesn’t matter what Carr said. What matters is I never meant to trap you in a life you didn’t sign up for.”

“But I started it, Freya.” Claimed her first. Wanted her first. Thought I could handle the storm of her fury without any idea what all that entailed. Without a fucking clue how deeply intertwined the rabbit hole was.

She shook her head. “I would never intentionally tether you against your will.”

And yet we did. Both of us did. “Like it or not, we’re tied together.”

“Right,” she said, nodding. “I… I’ll make it right.”

With a curt dip of her chin, she climbed through the window, leaving me feeling carved out like a damn jack-o’-lantern. Deciding I didn’t much care for the unease her words left behind, I stood, slipped on the grit of the shingles, and climbed back inside after her.

But that was the thing about the two of us, wasn’t it? She ran. And I followed.

I’d never been able to help myself.

Freya was nowhere to be seen as I trudged down the hallway toward my room, only to nearly collide with Gio.

“Cyrus, thank God.”

I scowled, barking a ragged, “What?”

“Commander Porter. He needs reinforcements and the Commander isn’t in her room.”

FORTY-SEVEN

THE MERCIFUL OPTION

AUGUST

“Bend a knee, and you will see just how merciful we are.”