Page 21 of Lessons of the Heart

“What?” I mutter.

Joseph saunters towards the hotel, seemingly unfazed by my hesitation. I trail him into the lobby cautiously, looking around. It’s a mid-budget, popular hotel chain. I’ve stayed in one before, with Felix and his parents when we had a weekend away. The familiar layout and decorations feel almost grounding and settling.

Joseph heads towards the check-in desk while I loiter near the entrance to the hotel. It takes a few minutes before he steps back towards me. He hands me a hotel check-in key.

“You’re in room 304.”

“For what?” I ask.

“For a safe night’s sleep,” he replies.

I wrap my fist around the hotel key, almost like I don’t accept that this is real. The key digs into my palm, reassuring me that it is real, that I’m not dreaming. I look at Joseph, forcing myself to look him properly in the eyes.

“What do you expect in return?” I ask.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing I get out of this is the knowledge that I don’t have to worry about you wandering into a club to try to find a place to sleep.”

“I can’t afford this,” I argue.

“I know, but I can.” He shrugs. “Go get some sleep. Checkout is at eleven tomorrow. Breakfast is included.”

For the first time in a long time, I want to give in and cry. Nobody in my life, other than Felix and his family, has ever been so nice to me or made such a kind gesture. For months I’ve been alone, trying to dodge everything happening in my life, keeping my head down and thinking about the future. I’ve ticked days off on my calendar, dreaming of the finish line when I can leave school, move out, make myself free. Kindness in those days has been few and far between. This man in front of me barely knows me, but he’s fed me and now is offering a safe roof over my head, no strings attached.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“I’ll see you at school next week,” he replies. Then he strides out of the lobby, pushing the doors open and stepping out into the street. He doesn’t give me even a moment of a second glance. I watch as he stuffs his hands into his pockets as he saunters down the little street and then disappears from view.

I turn and head towards the lifts at the far side of the lobby. One arrives swiftly and I step in, pressing the button to take me to the third floor. I find the room quickly. I slot the key card into the lock and step inside, flicking on the lights and looking around. It looks exactly like the room I stayed in when I was away with Felix and his family. There’s a little bathroom to the left of the main door, containing a toilet, sink, and shower, decorated with tubs of fancy toiletries and thick white towels. A towelling robe hangs on the door.

To the right of the main door is a cupboard, and then ahead of me is the main area. There’s a king-size bed, with crisp white sheets and a thick quilt on top of it, and the softest pillows I’ve seen in a long time. There’s a little dressing table, two bedside tables with a lamp on top of each, a comfortable-looking armchair positioned next to the window, and a television that hangs on the far wall to the bed.

I flick on the bedside lamps before drawing the curtains closed, then drop my heavy bag onto the comfortable chair. Stripping out of my party dress and unclipping my bra, I pull out the oversized tee-shirt I wore to school today and put it on before pulling back the quilt and getting into the bed. I let out a little moan because this is the best mattress I’ve been on in years. I pull the covers around me and relish in the silence in the room. No noises of my mother stomping around the house. No sounds of a strange man breathing next to me.

I snuggle into the pillows and covers, thinking about the beautiful, long and hot shower I’m going to take in the morning, the leisurely breakfast I’m going to eat, and the blissful start I’ll have to my day before I’m forced to face up to my reality and get back to my normal life.

As I drift off to sleep, my last, fleeting thought is about Joseph Wakefield, the kindness he’s shown me, and I wonder about the consequences I’ll be forced to deal with when I see him again.

Chapter five

Delilah

Two Years Ago

“Delilah, thank you so much for the help today. I can’t believe I managed to make this!” Emma exclaims. She’s one of my students in class today, and she does look thrilled at the dress she’s managed to create. It’s a relatively simple pattern we’ve been doing, but I know the joy that comes from creating something for the very first time.

“Are you going to do more at home?” I ask, and she beams at me, nodding.

“I got a load of patterns that I’m going to try. I think I want to make a skirt next.” She folds the dress over and puts it into her bag, tidying along the rest of her things.

“We have a class next month for dungarees, if you’re interested,” I offer.

I hate trying to do a hard sell, but—as I’ve learnt over the years—it’s necessary to keep the business afloat. A lot of the students I get for teaching are from word of mouth or repeat customers. Stepping out of my comfort zone and pushing my services reaps its rewards, no matter how much I dislike it. Shouting about my classes and services at every opportunity is not the worst thing I’ve done to keep the roof over my head.

“I think I will. I have a friend who will probably join me next time,” Emma tells me as she gathers the last of her things. “Right, I’ll leave you in peace. Thank you for staying a little later with me so I could finish.”

“You’re welcome.”

There’s always one student who needs a little extra attention, especially when they’re a beginner. Usually I don’t mind, but today, I feel the need to get outside and into the fresh air. I’m glad class hasn’t overrun for too long.