Page 148 of The Wright Man

I tossed it on the bed and went straight to the shower. Turned both faucets on full and pressed my hands flat against the water, letting the water run over my wrists until my fingers went numb. Stood there breathing. Counting tiles. Waiting for my body to remember who it belonged to.

It didn't work.

Why was I like this?

How could I still want him?

Four years apart and he was never gone. Just waiting. Dormant. Patient in my memory, pressed like a flower between the pages of everything I never let myself admit.

I turned the water off and walked into my closet. Still damp. Still spiraling.

The mirror didn't lie.

I saw the scarlet letter written all over my body. Across my mouth. My thighs. My heart.

This wasn't me… But it was.

Because I've always been his.

Even if I never said it out loud. Even if I married someone else. Even if I ran away from the truth every damn day since that airport goodbye.

It didn't matter. Because I made vows. And I broke them.

Even if Gavin broke them first.

Even if he never deserved them.

Even if I stopped being his to lose the moment he walked out of that hospital room and left me to hold our dead child alone.

This wasn't about who he was. This was about who I was. And I had to face that now.

My phone was ringing again. I already knew who it was.

I didn't even flinch.

I threw on underwear. Leggings. A hoodie I'd forgotten I owned. My hands were already pulling things from shelves before my mind caught up to what I was doing.

I got in the car. Pulled up Gavin's email. Found the hotel. Tapped the address into my GPS. My chest was so tight it hurt to breathe.

"Proceed to the highlighted route."

And then again—his name.

"Incoming call from Maleek."

I rejected it.

Again.

I couldn't hear his voice. Not right now. Not when I knew it would unravel me. Not when I knew he'd come. Not when I knew I'd let him.

Because I would.

I'd crash into him all over again... Give in to everything I denied myself for years.

Fall willingly into his hands, his heart, his future—just like I always wanted to.

And I wanted him. More than I wanted to save this marriage.