Page 113 of Key of Kink

He blinked. “And?”

“And isn’t that too young to be doing… whatever this is?”

“But what is this?”

I opened my mouth. Closed it.

“Where do you want this to go?” Sam asked in a low voice. “What do you want?”

That part I could answer.

“More.” Sam’s expression softened, and I forged ahead. “I don’t want to just hook up. I don’t want this to be nothing but scenes either. I mean, I like scenes, obviously, but I don’t want that to be the only thing.”

Sam folded his arms. “You want a relationship.”

I pulled a face. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m about to go looking for matching bath towels.”

He laughed.

“I just…” I rubbed a hand over my face. “I don’t want to disappear again.” The words crept out. Sam opened his mouth. “Hear me out?” I interjected. “With Grant, I started… shrinking, I guess is one way of saying it. I thought I was being intense and devoted and whatever. But I was just… smaller.”

“And now?”

I thought about the last forty-eight hours. Teasing Max at the gym. Him choosing to take me home. The sex. Me sleeping on the floor and feeling fine about it.

“I don’t feel small,” I confessed. Sam nodded. “I don’t need him,” I added quickly. “I just really, really like him.”

Sam’s lips twitched again. “That’s usually how it starts.”

“Yeah, but what if this is just me getting caught up in it?” I asked. “It’s new. It’s hot. He’s…” I made a vague gesture. “Him.”

“And?”

“And I don’t want to build my life around someone simply because they look at me properly.”

Sam leaned forward slightly. “Does Max make you shut up about things you care about?”

“No.”

“Do you feel like you’re performing?”

I shook my head.

He sat back. “Then maybe stop trying to age yourself out of wanting something.”

That hit hard.

“I’m not trying to move in with him,” I muttered.

“No one said you were.”

“I just don’t want to waste my twenties pretending I don’t care,” I said. “That seems worse.”

Sam smiled. “That’s the most grown-up thing you’ve said tonight.”