Page 117 of My Big Fat Shifter Wedding

No one harmed our pack!

“No! It wasn’t anything like that. I mean, he got handsy, and when we were making out he kept trying to slide his hand up my skirt. He told me on our third date that he understood if I needed more time and that sex might not be a thing for me, so when I told him that we had gone as far as I was comfortable, I expected him to be cool with it. Maybe have some questions, yeah, but he started like, almost debating me! Like he could convince me that this thing I’ve been struggling with for a while isn’t a thing at all!”

Scumbag!

“I don’t know, I was so taken aback, blindsided really, that I reminded him he told me he would be cool if we never had sex. Then he told me it was ridiculous to expect that of any man. So then I got angry, and I told him no, it wasn’t, and I had been transparent about things from the beginning, so if he had an issue, that was his problem, but then he called me a bitch and stormed out!” At that, she started crying again, and my heart truly ached for her.

“I know it’s so stupid to get worked up about something that everybody does, but I really thought he was different. I hate that people look at me and decide what I’m like and what I’m okay with just because I like fashion and makeup. I hate how they feel that they can decide what I want to do with my body, and how I should feel about allowing someone to be inside of it!”

“What an asshole!” Honestly, that was a nicer word than the other things that were floating through my head. I didn’t often think of using my shifter status against humans, but I was contemplating paying a midnight visit to that scumbag to put the fear of God into him.

My best friend was so headstrong that she wasn’t going to let that sort of bullshit sway her into doing something that she didn’t want to do, but the next girl might not be so lucky. Men like that tended to prey on vulnerable people with a desire to please. He had messed up by mistaking Amanda’s genuine enthusiasm for hanging out with anyone as desperation.

“Amanda, there’s one thing I want you to know. You are not an idiot for expecting decency from another human. And it was wrong of him to tell you he was okay with something, and then try to blindside you once he had you alone and in a vulnerable state. I’m only about ten minutes away, but would you like me to stop and pick anything up for you? Because wedding or not, we’re having a girls’ night. Just you and me and all the trashy or animated movies you want.”

“Even Eight-Legged Freaks?” she asked, her voice so small and hopeful. It eased my inner wolf that she already sounded less beside herself. Proof that even though we weren’t an alpha, we could still take care of our pack.

“Even Eight-Legged Freaks,” I affirmed, grateful that she couldn’t see me wince.

“But you hate terrible B-horror movies!”

“Yeah, but I love you more than I hate them, so there.”

She sniffled. “I wouldn’t say no if you could pick up those double chocolate and caramel ice cream bars you shared with me that one time our periods synced up.”

“I can do that. Do you want me to pick up those sour cream and chili kettle chips you like so much?”

“You don’t have to. Like, I don’t need them.”

“Two bags it is, then.”

She let out a laugh that sounded slightly unhinged. “You really are the best friend a girl on the spectrum can ask for!”

“And you’re the best friend I could ever ask for. Now, I want you to think of anything else you’d want for our girls’ night, because mama’s got a credit card with no spending limit!”

“Well, if you’re offering… have you ever heard of Ferrero Rocher?”

***

“Am I stupid?” Amanda asked in the middle of a jumping spider attacking a group of BMX bikers after an intense chase scene through a desert. I paused the movie, turning to give her my full attention.

When I arrived, I had been prepared for a total girl-talk session, but she’d grabbed my hand and hauled me in front of her television to put on truly awful horror movies, claiming she had to get them out of the way before I came to my senses and changed my mind. We weren’t even through the first one, so it was still quite light outside. She’d cracked faster than I’d thought she would.

“No, Amanda, you are not stupid.”

She stared at the paused image on the screen. I had gotten to know her well enough to be aware that sometimes, she needed a few extra minutes to figure out what she was thinking or feeling. “Is something broken in me?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I just be horny like everyone else? Who doesn’t like sex?”

I grabbed her hand and gave it a few squeezes, much like how Keith did whenever I was on the verge of a spiral. Except my friend wasn’t on the verge of one. She was right in the heart of it and struggling to find her footing.

“Lots of people, for lots of different reasons. There are people who are survivors of assault and no longer interested in it. There are people who have dedicated their entire lives to God or whatever deity and have taken a vow of chastity to be closer in their worship. There are people who are repulsed by it and will never have it, and there are plenty of people who could take it or leave it and only view it as a thing to do when their partner needs it, as well as people who have no sexual attraction but still enjoy it as a fun activity.”

“What, like running?” Amanda asked dubiously, side-eyeing me through her puffy lids. It was the only time I had ever seen her without meticulously blended eyeshadow. Other than the tear-induced swelling, she still looked like herself. Before she’d helped introduce me to the beginning steps that would help me establish my own routine, I’d always had this weird fear that cosmetics would ultimately make me look not like Olivia. But that hadn’t been the case at all.

“Yes, actually. Exactly like that! Look, I know you’re not sure where you stand on things, if it’s just because you have a very low libido, if you’re completely uninterested in it, or if you’re simply not ready yet. But trust me, no matter which one it is, you are not alone.