Page 117 of Commanding Blood And Bonds

My tally came up clean, but it wasn’t until I swept around the desk to check the cubby beneath that I finally felt at ease enough to slide the dagger back into its sheath.

“Reyna.” This time her name came as a demand, unease settling in the pads of my feet and making stillness elusive.

She was hugging herself—toned arms wrapped tight around a pale blue nightdress with lace-trimmed cap sleeves. An audible whoosh of air filled her ribs just before she turned sharply to face me.

My heart sank as her throat bobbed and the painted lines of her mouth twisted with her sob.

Oh man.

Heists? Robberies? Steady sabotage of an enemy? All in my wheelhouse.

Processing emotion with healthy coping mechanisms? Soooo fucking not.

Per human tradition, I blamed my soul mother.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, gently closing the study doors to protect her privacy. “I can wait outside.”

“No,” she bit out with a jerky shake of her head. She sucked in a breath, cheeks puffed before exhaling through pursed lips. “That won’t be necessary. I didn’t expect you’d check in before leaving.”

“Thought I ought to pay you that diligence.”

“An unexpected turn of the table.”

I chuckled, nodding, but clenched my jaw as a silvery trail glimmered behind the tears streaking her cheeks. She rushed to wipe them away, sniffling as she turned to face me and straightened her dress.

The woman had been a vault since the moment we left the healers’ room after Darius’ death—chin high, orders sharp, leading every strike against the Renown herself. This was the first crack I’d seen.

Forcing myself to close the gap, I softened my expression, holding her watery gaze as I said, “It’s okay to feel, Reyna. I’m a wretched example, but that’s what I’ve been told. He was a good man.”

“One of the best,” she murmured, nodding shakily.

I thumbed her dress strap back onto her shoulder where it had slipped, swiped a tissue from her desk, and held it out—all while my stomach squirmed at the idea of admitting how much my heart had been aching too.

Instead, I said flatly, “Just…don’t let your crown slip. You’re too…relatable right now. It makes me want to like you.”

A watery laugh escaped her, lips twitching as she swiped the tissue under her eyes, smudging away mascara. “Can’t have that now, can we?”

“Certainly not,” I said, widening my eyes in mock horror as I stepped back to lean against the office doors.

She folded the tissue neatly and repeated the motion under her other eye.

“So, G tells me I’m Renown hunting tonight,” I said, glancing at her dress. “But judging by the lace, I’m guessing you’re not coming.”

She shook her head, brow pinching. “Blaz and Montague are concerned I haven’t slept since—” She swallowed instead of finishing the sentence. I understood more than I’d like to admit. “They say my mind will be compromised.”

“Probably a good call,” I offered, not pointing out the obvious.

She sniffed irritably, straightening her spine and lifting her chin. “Idle hands do not serve me well.”

“Now that, I believe.”

With a half-hearted chuckle, she tossed the tissue into a gilded waste bin. One last sniff, a roll of her neck, and she squared her shoulders, eyes hardening as she looked at me.

“There she is,” I said, grinning.

“I want you in and out of there tonight, Freya,” she ordered, gliding behind her desk and into her chair like a ribbon folding into place. She bent to slide open the bottom drawer. “If I had faith in anyone else crossing the river and returning undetected, they’d be going in your stead.”

Metal and plastic clunked as she rummaged. I tilted my head, trying to see what she was fiddling with.