Page 141 of Commanding Blood And Bonds

I opened my mouth to tell her all of it when she whispered, “It is what it is.”

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

Oh God, I was gonna puke. A tidal wave of hot saliva flooded my mouth as nausea climbed. I pinched the bridge of my nose, breathing hard through the sting. “No.”

She stepped toward me, reaching out. But the second her fingers grazed mine, I stepped back—ripped away. The scream in my throat burned. I wanted to beg. Threaten. Call Aren. Plead with him to command her to fucking fight.

Her gaze dropped. Her chest heaved. That boiling point rose.

Good. Push her.

Because I was falling apart.

But then she said, “August, you have to see reason⁠—”

“No.” I turned and paced, finally giving in to the rage boiling in my veins.

Alvara was the most incredible leader I’d ever known—too incredible. Always the one to fall on the sword. Always putting her people first. But we—as mates—we were the beginning, middle, and end. And she didn’t get to throw that away.

Trying and failing to soften my tone, I said, “No, Ally. You see reason. Look at me.” When she didn’t, I crossed the space, lifted her chin between my thumb and finger. “Look at me, baby.”

She did. Eyes locking with mine, twin galaxies of grief and fire. I’d never wanted to hurt her—never wanted to be the cause of her pain in a world that already demanded everything from her. But silence had bought me nothing.

Because I was losing her.

And of all the torments I could endure, that wasn’t one of them.

“I can’t do it, Ally. Not again.”

“We go out together this time,” she whispered. Like that should make it better. Like that should make the agony easier.

“No.”

“Stop being so fucking selfish!” she snapped. Her hands flew to her mouth, staggering a step back, like she couldn’t believe the words had come out.

“Selfish?” I echoed, almost relieved by the fire in her voice. It was better than apathy. Better than surrender. At least it meant she cared.

“Yes. Selfish.”

“You know what’s selfish, Ally? Giving up on your mate. The soul the universe weaved specifically for you. The karmic equal who could never love another the way they love you. And you’re standing there, telling me that’s disposable? That we just toss it away?” My voice cracked. “What if we don’t find each other next time?”

“We will,” she murmured, more to herself than me. She turned to pace, wringing her hands against her chest.

“Fuck that,” I snapped, lunging to grab her arm and pull her back into me. “Stop running from me.”

“I’m not⁠—”

“Bullshit. I just found you.”

“I just found you!” she sobbed, her voice finally cracking wide open. “Don’t forget I was the one who watched your body burn, Michael. I was the one who lost my mate when you didn’t ascend—and lived to tell the tale. I was the one who endured nearly three centuries alone while I just waited⁠—”

“And you don’t think that’s exactly why I refuse to give up?!”

“—while you circled through lives, living and loving and fucking, and I was alone, August. For centuries. I couldn’t stomach looking at another because I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”

“Then fight for me. Fight for us, dammit. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking there’s an entire realm of souls impacted by this outcome, and I can’t place my own happiness above their survival.”