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“Becca.” He breathed her name against her hair. “Becca, we have to.”
“Drew didn’t rape me.”
Chris touched her face. He didn’t think there’d been time—but if he’d showed up five minutes later, she might be telling a completely different story. “Just because he stopped doesn’t mean we shouldn’t—”
“No, Chris. Before.” Now she wasn’t looking at him. She swiped rain from her cheeks and took a deep shuddering breath. “He never raped me.”
Her voice sounded fragile, so he waited, letting the rain fall. “I liked him,” she said. “Really liked him. He did that stupid pre-season soccer camp in August—you know the one for the varsity players?”
Chris nodded. The only reason Gabriel hadn’t done it was because summer was Michael’s busiest time with the landscaping company—and they needed all the help they could get.
“I watched the whole thing,” she said. Her voice sounded close to breaking. “I hate soccer, and I watched every practice, every stupid scrimmage, hanging around Drew like some vapid groupie. Right before school started, they had this party, and when he asked me, of course I went.” She started to draw away, and Chris let her go.
She pushed wet hair off her face and looked up at him. “Pathetic, right?”
He shook his head. “You’re not pathetic.”
“Yeah. Well.” She swiped at her eyes again. “I was. They were drinking, so I started drinking. I’m such an idiot—do you know I felt special that I was the only girl there? And when Drew started kissing me, I thought I was so, so lucky. I never wanted it to end.”
The rain started to change, responding to Chris’s temper.
Becca shivered and hunched down in his jacket. “So then he told me to kiss Tommy. He said it would be hot. And you know what, Chris? I did it. I did it because I liked Drew, and I wanted him to like me. Tommy stuck his hand up my shirt and I let him do it. And then Drew was unbuttoning my pants, and I kept letting him—” Her voice broke, and she started crying again, her hands clutched to her stomach.
Chris moved forward, to hold her, to stop her, to save her.
She jerked back from him. “Don’t you see? I kept letting them do it, and when I wanted them to stop, it was just too late. They were all touching me, and I just couldn’t make them stop, but I’d started—”
“Jesus, Becca.” Chris grabbed her shoulders. “It was not your fault. Do you understand me? This was not. Your. Fault.”
She wasn’t even looking at him. “I don’t even think they knew I was fighting them. There were just so many. I think I was hyperventilating. But Drew put his hands down my pants, and I threw up when he—when he touched me.” She gave a choked sob. “I guess that killed the mood because they threw me out of the party.”
Chris would kill them. The rain was turning to sleet again.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, pulling her forward. He put his hands on her face, making her look at him. “Becca, it wasn’t your fault.”
“I didn’t tell anyone,” she said. “Even Quinn doesn’t know all of it. I just—school was starting, and I wanted to pretend it never happened. But then he told everyone—everyone—”
“I know,” he whispered. “Becca.”
She dropped her head against his shoulder. “I’m so stupid, Chris.”
“You’re not stupid. Look at me.” When she didn’t, he pushed her back so he could look at her. The darkness kept most of her face in shadow, but he could feel every drop of water on her skin. “Look at me.”
“I am looking at you,” she whispered.
He put his hands on her face, his thumbs tracing the contours of her cheekbones, feeling raindrops thrill under the weight of his palms. “You’re the bravest girl I’ve ever met,” he said. “I’ve thought that since the night you helped me.”
“Brave,” she scoffed, though there was a sob mixed in there. “I’m hiding in a field—”
“You’re brave. I’m living proof. And you’re smart. That day you showed up in our driveway? Michael handed you that clipboard to screw with you. He knew you had no idea what that stuff was. But you picked it up and ran with it. Do you know I heard him mock Nick about it?” He dropped his voice to a gruff imitation of his oldest brother. “ ‘Girl off the street loaded the truck in half the time you take.’ ”
Her mouth twitched. A smile? She started to push his hands away. “Chris—”
“And you’re strong. Or did someone else break that guy’s nose tonight?”
She went still. “I broke his nose?”
Chris really had no idea. But she was listening, so he went with it. “It should have been his neck.”
