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Nick had been worried that some of his infatuation was because Adam was the first boy he had kissed, the first outlet for years of repressed attraction.
But Adam was smart. He read everything, from genre fiction to biographies to The Economist to a weekly sex advice column.
He could talk about all of it. Nick might have had him beat in chemistry, but Adam had him by a mile in subjective analysis.
He’d never met someone who would genuinely care about his opinion—but then expect him to defend it.
Nick loved it. He loved it so much it’d been hard to leave.
But then he’d leaned in to kiss Adam good night, and he’d seen the flash of vulnerability, reminding him to tread carefully.
That first night, his time with Adam had been like riding a runaway train, having no idea of the destination, just hurtling into the darkness while clinging for dear life. Exciting and terrifying.
Now it felt like someone had pressed a map into his hands and explained how to ease off the throttle.
“Earth to Nicholas. Come in, Mr. Merrick.”
Crap. Dr. Cutter was glaring at him. What were they talking about? Diagrams covered every inch of whiteboard, but Nick hadn’t even cracked his textbook. His notebook was open, but he hadn’t written anything down.
Nick cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. What?”
“I asked if you’d come up with an answer for the third question.”
Nick took another desperate glance at his notebook, as if the answers would have magically appeared. He couldn’t afford to piss off Dr. Cutter, who was already giving him a free pass by letting him retake the unit test he’d bombed yesterday.
Nick looked back at the board, at the third diagram, hoping it would be something he could work out in his head.
Yeah, right. This was AP Physics. He knew it had something to do with velocity and mass, maybe—
“Perhaps I can explain what you’ve missed when you stay after class.”
Half the class sucked in a breath and looked at him.
Gabriel would fling his pencil down and level the teacher with some snarky comment. He’d probably get himself thrown out of class.
Nick could never do that. Shame was curling his stomach into knots. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
After class, Dr. Cutter was a lot less accommodating than he’d been the previous day.
“This is an advanced placement class,” he said, a slight edge to his voice. “We move through the material quickly. Are you having difficulty keeping up?”
“No,” said Nick. “I’m sorry. Really, it won’t happen again.”
The teacher’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t really have Gabriel Merrick sitting in front of me, do I?”
Nick flinched. It shouldn’t have been an insult, but it felt like one. “No. I swear.”
“I had to call your name three times.”
Nick didn’t know how many times he could apologize for the same thing. He rubbed at his eyes. “I’m having a rough week.”
Dr. Cutter studied him. “Are you aware you’re the student with the highest average in this class?” He frowned. “Or you were before yesterday’s test.”
Nick pulled his hands down. He’d thought he was better than average, but the highest? “No, I didn’t know.”
“And you’re second in your class in AP Calc. I spoke with Mrs. Rafferty. In fact . . .” He reached behind him for a folder on his desk. He flipped the cover open. “Out of the entire senior class, based on a weighted GPA, you’re ranked fourth overall.”
Wow. He’d had no idea.
