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And as soon as he said them, he realized how true they were.
He wanted to tell Gabriel about Adam. He told his brother everything, and now he felt more strongly about another human being than he ever had, and he couldn’t breathe a word about it.
The mental strife was choking him.
No, the terror of losing his brother was choking him.
But wasn’t he doing that anyway?
I can’t do this, Nick.
Nick couldn’t, either. He cleared his throat and nodded at the front of the café. “I probably should have picked coffee when you suggested it earlier.”
“Pick coffee now.”
Sit. Talk to me. That’s what his brother was saying.
Nick took a breath. He nodded. “Okay.”
The café had looked crowded from the parking lot, and getting up close to the front door confirmed it. Every table seemed occupied, but the line for the register wasn’t too long.
Still, someplace this packed wouldn’t exactly be conducive to the kind of discussion Nick had in mind.
Then again, Gabriel probably wouldn’t flip out in the middle of a crowd of people.
“We can come back out here to sit,” said Gabriel. “Plenty of room.”
Nick looked at him. It was barely forty-five degrees, so all the tables were deserted. But sitting in the fresh air would help—
Gabriel knew that. This was an olive branch.
“It’s not too cold?”
Gabriel dropped into one of the wire chairs in front of the restaurant. “Nah. I’ll hold the table so we don’t have to play the twin game.”
Meaning the thirty-eight thousand questions they encountered when seen in public together. Nick smiled, though it felt uncertain. “All right.”
He waited in line inside the warm bustle of the restaurant, wondering if this was an olive branch, too: Gabriel giving him time to think.
And he needed time to think.
Nerves made him jittery. What if his brother walked away?
What if he said he wasn’t okay with it?
Creepy. Freak.
Nick ran a hand through his hair and told himself to calm down.
Maybe he should lead off with Adam. So . . . I’ve met someone. It’s new, and it’s special, but . . . it’s a guy.
Maybe not.
I know you’re worried about Quinn, but we’re not really together. No, not since she caught me kissing a guy.
Ugh. This was horrible.
I’ve been lying to you for years.
