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But he’d felt a glimmer of it when he was slamming Gabriel into that wall.
He pulled the ice bag away from his face and set it on the table. “I’m sorry that he—that he—”
“It’s not your fault.” Adam touched his cheek, and his hand was warm. Nick shut his eyes and leaned into the contact. He felt the pain, but it was worth it.
He opened his eyes. “Then I’m sorry for what I did. Last night.”
Adam nodded and withdrew his hand, reaching for the ice pack again. “I am, too.” He glanced up, and the slightest bit of rueful humor slid into his voice. “In fact, I was trying to apologize to you fifteen minutes ago. I didn’t realize that when you said identical twin, you weren’t kidding about the identical part.”
swallowed and looked at the windshield.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Gabriel said after a minute. “I—
I wish I knew why you won’t.”
It sounded like it cost him something to say that.
“I want to tell you,” said Nick.
The words fell out of his mouth almost against his will.
And as soon as he said them, he realized how true they were.
He wanted to tell Gabriel about Adam. He told his brother everything, and now he felt more strongly about another human being than he ever had, and he couldn’t breathe a word about it.
The mental strife was choking him.
No, the terror of losing his brother was choking him.
But wasn’t he doing that anyway?
I can’t do this, Nick.
Nick couldn’t, either. He cleared his throat and nodded at the front of the café. “I probably should have picked coffee when you suggested it earlier.”
“Pick coffee now.”
Sit. Talk to me. That’s what his brother was saying.
Nick took a breath. He nodded. “Okay.”
The café had looked crowded from the parking lot, and getting up close to the front door confirmed it. Every table seemed occupied, but the line for the register wasn’t too long.
Still, someplace this packed wouldn’t exactly be conducive to the kind of discussion Nick had in mind.
Then again, Gabriel probably wouldn’t flip out in the middle of a crowd of people.
“We can come back out here to sit,” said Gabriel. “Plenty of room.”
Nick looked at him. It was barely forty-five degrees, so all the tables were deserted. But sitting in the fresh air would help—
Gabriel knew that. This was an olive branch.
“It’s not too cold?”
Gabriel dropped into one of the wire chairs in front of the restaurant. “Nah. I’ll hold the table so we don’t have to play the twin game.”
Meaning the thirty-eight thousand questions they encountered when seen in public together. Nick smiled, though it felt uncertain. “All right.”
