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Nick nodded and looked away. His jaw felt tight.
“Seriously. You don’t have to watch your words or your thoughts or whatever has you so wound up.” Adam put his hands on Nick’s shoulders, not letting go even when Nick stiffened. “I only brought you here so we could talk. You just looked like you needed a breather. You can leave any time you want.”
A breather. Nick needed a whole oxygen tank. He swallowed and made himself meet Adam’s eyes. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” Adam took Nick’s free hand and tugged. “Come on.”
Nick hadn’t held hands with another guy since it was mandated on field trips in kindergarten. It should have felt foreign, uncomfortable. He should have been pulling away.
But it didn’t feel foreign. Adam’s grip felt warm and secure.
He could have led Nick straight off a cliff and Nick would have followed. At the bedroom door, Nick’s heart staggered and scrambled to maintain a rhythm, but Adam led him past that, to the couch.
Not like it mattered. They were alone.
Comforting and terrifying at the same time.
Adam sat close, curling into the cushions to face Nick. Their fingers were still loosely twined, and Nick knew Adam was giving him space to pull away. He didn’t.
Nick waited, testing the air. He’d always been able to sense changes in air patterns, from a door opening, from someone coming close. But lately he’d also been able to sense emotion in-directly, from the rate and quality of someone’s breathing.
The air always talked to him, and now, it echoed Adam’s promise. You’re safe here.
He looked at their fingers latticed together. Adam’s thumb brushed against his own, very slowly, very gently, a tentative touch as if he knew that too much would send Nick reeling.
But firm enough that Nick knew he could grab on and cling for dear life.
“I never kissed a guy before you,” Nick said, flat out, no pre-amble. “My brothers have no idea.” He winced, remembering Quinn’s comments during the landscaping job. “They probably think I’m a total player. Even my twin brother—”
“Gabriel, right?”
“Yeah.” Nick glanced up, surprised that Adam had remembered. “He says I’m the good twin, and that’s why I get more girls.”
“That would make him the evil twin?”
Nick frowned. “If you ask Quinn, she’d say yes. But he’s not.
He has a good heart. He’s very loyal. We got picked on when we were younger, and he always took a beating so I could get away.
He’s the kind of guy to punch first and ask questions later.
Quinn hates him, and I wish I could fix it. But he can be sharp—
cruel. He speaks without thinking, and it gets him into trouble.”
“You’re close?”
“Yeah.” Nick hesitated. “I think we’re growing apart this year. A little.”
“And he has no clue you’re into guys?”
Despite the fact that he was sitting here holding hands with Adam, the instinct to reject the notion was so strong that Nick almost denied it. He had to clear his throat. “No. No idea.”
“Do you think he’d hurt you if he knew?”
Nick blinked in surprise. “What, you mean physically?”
“Yeah, I mean physically.”
