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Nick pushed the button to unlock the car and didn’t say anything.
“Nicky,” Gabriel called from the porch. His voice gained an edge. “Are you mad at me about something?”
No. Yes. Nick had no idea.
“No,” he called back. “Just late.”
He started the car so he didn’t have to hear what else Gabriel said. But his brother’s offer rolled around in his head, gaining traction while he drove. Quinn wasn’t even his girlfriend, so it shouldn’t have pissed him off.
But it did. Mostly because Gabriel was right: Nick hadn’t done anything to protect her.
He knew being g*y wasn’t the equivalent of being weak, but right now, it sure felt like they went hand in hand.
He couldn’t exactly dispute it, either, not while he was sneaking out to see a guy instead of avenging Quinn.
When he pulled into the parking lot, he killed the engine, then sat there. He’d been keyed up about seeing Adam all day, and now he wanted to crawl back into that proverbial closet and wedge the door closed.
This was like physics class, where he didn’t know the right formulas. Adam would be expecting something from him tonight, and Nick had no idea what. Was study here just code for come over and make out? What if it was, and Nick missed the cues? Worse, what if it wasn’t?
He looked at the clock on the dash. Ten past eight. He was already late. He could start the engine and peel out of here. Forget their kiss. Forget everything.
Coward. First he couldn’t face Gabriel, and now he couldn’t face Adam.
A hand knocked on the passenger window, and Nick jumped a mile.
Adam stood there in the dark, his eyes shadowed and his expression hidden.
Nick unlocked the car, and Adam climbed in without hesitation, bringing the scent of cloves and oranges with him.
He didn’t say anything, and Nick peeked over at him. He’d expected loose dance clothes like last night, but Adam wore dark jeans and a red T-shirt under a charcoal gray pea coat. He had a messenger bag, too, beat-up brown leather that looked like it would explode from the weight of whatever was inside. His expression was easy, but his eyes were cautious.
looked at him. For an instant, he felt like six-year-old Nicky, wanting to cry and hide and let his brother fix everything. What had Adam said last night? You admire him. I can hear it in your voice.
He was right. Gabriel had always been the fighter. The defender. Nick could see it now: if he told his twin something was wrong, Gabriel would be on his feet, ready to knock heads.
It made Nick feel immeasurably weak sometimes. Like when Gabriel was sneaking around, rescuing people from burning buildings. Or like last night, when Tyler had gone after Quinn.
Gabriel wouldn’t have picked her up and driven her home.
Gabriel would have tracked down Tyler and beaten the shit out of him.
When Nick thought about telling Gabriel the truth about himself, it felt like admitting one more way he didn’t live up to his identical twin brother.
His appetite vanished. He flung his pizza down and shoved the tray away. “Yeah. Fine. You want that? I’m not hungry.”
Before Gabriel could stop him, he shouldered his bag and walked away from the table.
“Hey!” Gabriel called.
Nick called back over his shoulder. “I’ll see you at home later.”
Almost immediately, his cell phone chimed. Nick grabbed it from his pocket, hoping for a message from Adam.
Michael had sent him a message.
Can you help with a job tonight? Should be done by 7. Too much for me + C.
C was Chris. Nick sighed. He was already behind with school, but he’d be able to study at Adam’s, right? Michael wouldn’t ask if he didn’t need the help.
