Page 42 of Until We Come Home

I swallow and sink lower into the stretch. I don’t need an existential career crisis before nine in the morning, so I force the thought down. I’ll email my agent tomorrow to map out the fall schedule.

“You know, if you want to stick around, I know for a fact Meridian would keep you,” Jada says, straightening up. “The director’s been dropping hints to anyone who’ll listen.”

“Don’t start,” I say, laughing it off. “I really don’t think that would fit my lifestyle. I’ll probably land another tour, but maybe coming back for a masterclass down the line would be fun.”

“Alright, I just love having you here, is all. But I’ll drop it.” Jada shakes her head.

“Well, I appreciate that,” I say, switching sides. “It’s been really good, being here with you and everyone. Speaking of, how are you feeling about the winter show?”

“So good,” she says, with feeling. “We got a sneak peek of the choreo yesterday and I’m already in love with it, plus I really like my partner this time.”

“I missed the casting announcement—who’d you get paired with?”

“Tessa,” she says.

“She’s good, so clean.” I nod, impressed.

“I know, I’m obsessed with her,” she says, laughing. “Oh! Isn’t your sexy firefighter friend thing today? That calendar shoot? Save me one if the other guys in his station look anything like he does.”

My stomach does a small flip at the mention of Mateo. I’ve been anxious about seeing him since I woke up. Things got strange last night when he had me up in the air for the lift, and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it.

So I’m resorting to my absolute favorite strategy: ignoring the whole situation and hoping it magically resolves itself.

“I’ll make sure you snag one, and yeah, it’s scheduled for this afternoon,” I tell her, keeping my voice casual. “I’m dropping by the station to harass him endlessly while he poses beside the engine.”

“Must be nice having him in the city for the whole season,” Jada says. “You two are practically attached at the hip, right?”

“Yeah,” I say, leaning deeper into the floor stretch. “We’ve just been hiking, catching movies, and exploring the city on our off days. He knows Seattle way better than I do from his previous contracts here, so it’s been really great having him around.”

Jada tilts her head, studying me. “And you’re not dating?”

I glance up at her sideways from my stretch. “Why does literally everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because it’s a little hard to buy,” Jada says, totally unbothered. “I’m not saying men and women can’t be friends. But you text him constantly. Practically every story you tell involves him. And I’ve seen the photos on your phone. The man is ridiculously hot. The math just isn’t mathing for me.”

“We would not work as a couple,” I say, a line I’ve practiced until it rolls off my tongue. “Mateo is the ultimate serious-relationship guy. All-in, devoted, finds his person and stays forever. And I’m just not built that way. Besides, risking the friendship we have isn’t worth it.”

“Wow,” Jada says. “So you two have really never hooked up? Not even once?”

My ears go hot as my traitorous mind flashes to last night, remembering how dangerously close we came in the studio, and how desperately part of me wanted it to happen.

“Uh, well, we technically tried the first night we met,” I admit, trying to sound nonchalant. “But the entire thing went completely off the rails, and we realized right then that we were better off keeping things strictly platonic.”

“Yikes, how’d it go off the rails?” She pulls a face. “Was he terrible in bed or something?”

I choke back a laugh. “Err, um, no, definitely not that...”

My brain unhelpfully offers up exact descriptors for that night. Hot. Incredible. Overwhelming. Intense in that focused, dark-eyed way where it feels like he’s looking right into your soul and already knows exactly what you need before you do. Skilled enough that nobody since has come close.

None of which is remotely helpful right now.

“The sex itself was good,” I continue, striving for casual indifference. “There was just a blaring smoke alarm, and then a rogue mouse in the room, and the whole thing was so ridiculous that we never actually... finished. We stayed up talking till dawn instead, and that was that. Better as friends.”

Jada gapes at me in disbelief. “This makes even less sense to me. I mean, good for you for being able to put that in a box and close the lid. I couldn’t be friends with a guy after a night like that, I’d be a mess. Impressive, truly.”

“It wasn’t that hard, weirdly,” I laugh. “When I date, I like it fun and uncomplicated, and with him I just knew right away that I wanted him around for good, in a friend way. None of the usual nonsense. The sex was hot, sure, but talking with him that night, I just had this really safe feeling. Super comfortable. That’s how I knew he was going to be my friend.”

Jada furrows her brow, mulling over my words.