Page 68 of Until We Come Home

Mia: Hey, I’m at the studio early and I’ve been going back and forth on how to say this, but I hope you’re healing up okay. I know you’ll be back in town for the benefit on Saturday. Can’t wait to see you there, but I just wanted to give you a heads up that Derek and I are back together. Our typical pattern, I know! Just since things had been weird between us, I wanted you to hear it from me...

I stare at the screen, frustration rolling through me. The news about Derek hits like a dull punch, though watching her run right back into his arms shouldn't even surprise me anymore. But mostly I'm just furious at myself for keeping my mouth shut, standing by while she slips away again.

“What’s got you looking so grim?” my mom asks, stepping into the kitchen in her robe.

“Nothing,” I say, tossing my phone face-down on the counter. “Mia just texted me that she’s back with Derek, and I’ve always found him a bit irritating. I’m not surprised, though. That’s their whole routine.”

She stops, giving me a long, knowing look. “You need to tell her you’re in love with her.”

I choke on my coffee. “What?”

“I mean it,” she says, crossing her arms tight over her chest. “It's written all over your face, Mateo. I've seen it for two years straight, and she feels the exact same way. I swear I don't know how I raised a son so stubborn about his own feelings. Someone needs to knock some sense into both of you.”

I don’t bother denying it. I’ve known how I feel for a long time, and my mom’s far too perceptive to miss it anyway. But it’s not that simple.

“Have you considered, oh I don’t know, actually talking to her like an adult?” she asks, watching me closely.

“Nah, I’ve chosen to just quietly suffer in silence,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Oh, I see, the martyr route. Why keep holding back like this? Is it because of Derek?”

I actually laugh at the thought of Derek being the thing holding me back.

“No,” I say. “It’s not him. I mean, it drives me insane watching her retreat back to him every time, but that’s not what’s stopping me. The guy’s a total joke.”

“Pretty confident you could handle him, huh?” she asks, a dark brow tipping up.

“I’m not looking to pick a fight, but yeah, he’s hardly any real competition, physically or otherwise,” I say.

The jealousy I feel every time he gets anywhere near her is maddening, but I’ve felt for a while now that if I laid my cards on the table, I’d have a real shot. No, Derek and his half-assed routine isn’t the obstacle standing in my way. It’s really...

“Is this about Lindsey?” she asks, reading my mind with her usual ease.

“Yeah,” I admit, turning the ceramic mug between my hands. “How do I just move on like none of it happened?”

“I’ve always admired your devotion, Mateo,” she says, leaning her elbows on the counter. “It’s one of the things I’ve been proudest of in raising you—the way you stay true, how you never walk away from the people you care about. But there’s a difference between honoring a memory and punishing yourself. Lindsey was a sweet woman, and she never would have wanted you to live like a ghost.”

I gaze down at the laminate surface, letting the weight of her words settle over me in the quiet kitchen.

“Listen to me,” she continues, her tone softening. “You’ve spent years putting everyone else first, but I’ve never known you to be a coward. If you want a life with her, go make it happen. Life is far too short, and you know that better than anyone. Don’t spend the rest of it wondering what if.”

“Since when did you turn into a relationship expert?” I ask, smiling.

“I happen to know a thing or two,” she says, tilting her head with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “And for your information, I might even have a date of my own this weekend.”

I arch a brow at her. “Wait, seriously? With who? Since when?”

“A mother is allowed to have a personal life,” she says, picking up her coffee with great dignity. “I’ll give you the full scoop later, but think about what I said.”

“Good for you, Mom. And I will,” I tell her, the smile lingering on my face.

She heads out to the porch with her coffee, and I stay where I am, looking out the window over the sink while the whole summer runs back through my head. Mia with Derek. Mia on the dock, an inch away from me. I’d bet anything she feels it too, and that it scares her badly enough that she won’t let herself look at it. Running would be classic Mia. But we could jump together.

I think about Lindsey, and the lingering shadow of grief that’s kept me frozen for so many years.

Maybe it’s finally time to let her rest.

CHAPTER 18