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For a moment, I had a vision of party guests strolling past the buffet, surreptitiously spying out the land, and then, one by one, adding smuggled vodka to the punch.
“How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” chanted Sarah, staggering and clutching at Gideon’s behind. “Lesley’s in the conservatory. There’s karaoke in there. I’m going to listen, only I want a little more punch first.” The tip of her green felt pepper costume wobbled on top of her head. “This is the best party I’ve ever been to!”
Gordon giggled. “Cynthia ought to be grateful. After tonight, no one will say her parties are boring ever again. She’s so lucky! And the catering service delivered far too much green finger food, so we all called a couple of friends to come along. Some of them aren’t even in costume, let alone green!”
I rolled my eyes again and firmly hauled Gideon away, right through the crowd of dancing lunatics and into the conservatory.
Gordon followed us. “Are you going to sing karaoke again too, Gwenny? Last time you were the best. I’d have voted for you if Katie hadn’t drenched her T-shirt with water, so she looked kind of hot, and I—”
“Oh, shut up, Gordon.” I was going to turn back to him, but at that moment, I saw Charlotte. Or someone who could have been Charlotte if she hadn’t been standing on a table in the middle of the conservatory, belting out Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” into a microphone.
“Oh, my God,” murmured Gideon, holding on to the door frame.
“Ready for those flashing lights,” sang Charlotte.
I couldn’t say a word for a moment. Any number of groupies were standing around the table catcalling, and Charlotte didn’t sing at all badly.
Gordon immediately mingled with the fans and started demanding a striptease. “Get your things off!” he bellowed. “Get ’em off!”
I spotted Raphael and Lesley—she was looking lovely in the nearly green Grace Kelly dress, with her hair water-waved to be right for the period—and pushed my way through the crowd and over to them. Gideon stayed in the doorway.
“At last!” Lesley yelled, giving me a hug. “She had some of the punch, and now she’s not herself at all. Since nine thirty she’s been trying to tell everyone about Count Saint-Germain’s secret society and how there are time travelers living among us. We did all we could to make her go home, but she’s as slippery as an eel, and she keeps getting away.”
“And she’s much stronger than us,” said Raphael, who was wearing an amusing green hat, but didn’t look at all amused himself. “I almost got her to the front door just now, but then she twisted my arm and threatened to break my neck.”
“And now she’s grabbed the mike,” said Lesley gloomily. We stared up at Charlotte as if she were a ticking time bomb. Admittedly, a prettily packaged time bomb.
Caroline hadn’t been exaggerating. The elf costume was stunning. Even a real elf couldn’t have looked lovelier than Charlotte, with her slender shoulders emerging from a cloud of green tulle. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were shining, and shimmering ringlets of hair curled their way down her back to the perfectly made wings, which looked as if she’d been born with them. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see her take off next moment and fly through the conservatory.
However, her singing voice wasn’t at all elfin. In fact, it wasn’t unlike Lady Gaga’s own.
“You know that I’ll be your Papa-Paparazzi,” she bawled into the microphone, and when Gordon shouted, “Get ’em off!” again, she began suggestively removing one of her long green gloves, finger by finger, helping it off with her teeth.
“She got that out of a film,” said Lesley, reluctantly impressed. “I can’t remember what film it was right now.”
o;Is it just me, or do the rest of you feel as if someone is building a subway system through your brains?” asked Paul.
I couldn’t help laughing. “I feel exactly the same,” I assured him. “There’s too much information coming in to be digested all at once. Every single idea starts off ten more.”
“And that’s not by any means all,” said Gideon. “There’s still a lot to discuss. Unfortunately we’ll be traveling back soon. But we’ll be here again—say in half an hour’s time? That is, for you—for Gwyneth and me, it will be tomorrow morning, if all goes well.”
“I don’t understand,” murmured Paul, but Lucy looked as if light had suddenly dawned on her.
“If you’re not on an official mission from the Guardians, then how did you get here at all?” she asked slowly, turning pale. “Or rather, what got you here?”
“We’ve—” I began, but Gideon cast me a quick glance and shook his head very slightly.
“We can explain all that next time,” he said.
I looked at the grandfather clock. Then I said, “No.”
Gideon’s eyebrows shot up. “No?”
I took a deep breath. Suddenly I knew that I couldn’t wait a second longer. I was going to tell Lucy and Paul the truth, here and now.
All at once I didn’t feel nervous anymore, only utterly exhausted. As if I’d run forty miles without stopping and hadn’t slept for about a hundred years. I wished to goodness that Gideon had let Lady Tilney ring for that hot peppermint tea with sugar and lemon. As it was, we’d have to do without it.
I looked straight at Lucy and Paul. “Before we travel back,” I began quietly, “I have to tell you something else. There must be time for that.”
