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“Are you a horse dealer?” he asked suspiciously, while Gideon rummaged about in Lesley’s backpack.
“No, he’s a doctor!” I explained. “As good as, anyway.” I saw James staring at the lettering on the backpack. It said HELLO KITTY MUST DIE. “Oh, James, I’m so glad you came,” I began. “In this weather and all—and I didn’t explain myself properly at the ball yesterday. It’s like this, you see. I want to protect you from a disease that’s going to infect you within the next year, and I’m afraid you’ll die of it, smallpox, I mean. I’ve forgotten the name of the guy who’s going to give it to you, but never mind that. The good news is, we’ve brought something that will save you from catching smallpox at all.” I beamed at him. “You only have to get off your horse and roll up your sleeve, and then we’ll inject you with it.”
James’s eyes had grown wider and wider during my monologue. Hector (who really was a magnificent gray) took a nervous step backward. “This is outrageous,” said James. “You ask me to meet you in the park, then you try to sell me a dubious medicine and an even more dubious story? And your companion looks to me very much like a robber or a highwayman!” He threw back the skirts of his coat, so that we could see the sword hanging by his side. “I warn you, I’m armed, and I can defend myself!”
Gideon sighed.
“Oh, James, do listen!” I went closer and took hold of Hector’s reins. “I only want to help you, and I’m afraid I don’t have much time. So please just dismount your horse and take your coat off.”
“I’ll do no such thing,” said James indignantly. “And this conversation is now over. Out of my way, you strange girl! I hope this is our last meeting! Move aside!” And he looked as if he was going to hit me with his riding crop. But he didn’t get around to it, because Gideon had grabbed him and pulled him off the horse.
“We don’t have time to play games,” he snapped, twisting both James’s arms behind his back.
“Help!” squealed James, twisting and turning like an eel. “Ruffians! I’m being attacked!”
“James, this is all in your own best interests,” I assured him, but he looked at me as if I were the devil in person. “You don’t know it, but … but where I come from, you and I are friends. Very good friends!”
“Help! Lunatics! I’m being attacked!” cried James, staring desperately at Hector. But the gray didn’t seem to feel like putting on a Black Stallion act. Instead of heroically charging us, he bent his head and began placidly grazing.
“I’m not a lunatic,” I tried to explain. “I’m—”
“Shut up and take his sword away, Gwenny, you ruffian,” Gideon impatiently interrupted. “And then get the needle and the ampoule with the vaccine out of the backpack for me.”
Sighing, I did as he said. He was right. There was no point in expecting James to understand.
“There,” grunted Gideon, opening the ampoule with his teeth. “Right, she’ll cut your throat if you move a muscle for the next two minutes, is that clear? And don’t you dare call for help again.”
I pointed the tip of the sword at James’s throat. “Honestly, James, I didn’t think it would be like this, believe me! As far as I’m concerned, you’d be welcome to go on haunting my school forever—my God, I’m going to miss you so much! If I’m right, this is the last time we’ll ever meet.” Tears rose to my eyes.
James looked as if he was going to faint with fright any moment now. “You can have my purse if you need money, but spare my life! Please!” he whispered.
“Yes, yes, don’t worry,” said Gideon. He folded back the wide collar of the coat that James was wearing and put the needle directly against his throat. James whimpered quietly when he felt it prick his skin.
“Doesn’t it usually go into the upper arm?” I asked.
“Usually there’s no need to twist the patient’s arms first,” grumbled Gideon, and James whimpered again.
“This is a silly way to say good-bye,” I said, unable to suppress a sniff. “I’d far rather give you a hug than hold a sword to your throat! You’ve always been my best friend at school after Lesley.” The first tear was running down my face. “And without you, I’d never have known the difference between an ordinary Royal Highness, a Serene Highness, an Illustrious Highness, and—”
“There we are,” said Gideon, letting go of James, who staggered a couple of steps backward, clutching his throat. “You should really put a plaster on it, but it will be all right without. Take care not to get any dirt into it.” Gideon took the sword from my hand. “Now, mount your horse and ride away without looking back, understand?”
James nodded. His eyes were still wide with fright, as if he couldn’t believe that it was all over.
“Good-bye,” I sobbed. “Good-bye, James Augustus Peregrine Pympoole-Bothame! You were the nicest ghost I ever met!”
Breathing heavily, unsteady on his legs, James mounted his horse.
“Your sword’s under the chestnut tree if you want it back,” added Gideon, but James had already dug his spurs into poor Hector’s sides. I watched them go until they had disappeared among the trees.
“Satisfied?” asked Gideon, collecting our things.
I wiped the tears off my cheeks and smiled at him. “Thank you! It’s really cool to have a boyfriend who’s a medical student.”
Gideon grinned. “I swear that’s the last time I ever vaccinate anyone. Patients are so ungrateful!”
Unable are the Loved to die, For Love is Immortality …
EMILY DICKINSON
