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Jace almost said that the woman thing wasn’t because of his spirit, but remembered he was talking to his mother. “I think they may have doped you up a bit too much there, Ma. You’re getting sappy on me.”
“All I’m saying is that when none of us could get through to Evangeline, you got her to let her guard down, to smile. I thought it was a good thing for both of you. You were showing your father and I you were capable of being responsible, and Evangeline had someone to relate to.” She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “But as time went on, I knew I’d made a mistake. I saw how you two began to look at each other. I sensed the shift, and I didn’t do anything about it.”
He sighed. “Mom, stop. What happened wasn’t your fault. I was old enough to know better. I should’ve had the strength to stay away.”
His mom didn’t say anything for a few seconds and when she lifted her head to face him again, her eyes were full of regret. “You were all she had holding herself together. When we kicked you out that night, the glimmer of light behind her eyes went out. She begged your father to let you stay, that she could go live somewhere else for a while. But your father told her she shouldn’t waste time being a martyr for you, that you’d have another girl in your bed by the next night, that she didn’t mean anything to you.”
Jace sucked in a breath. “What?”
She swiped at the moisture on her cheek. “I should’ve stepped in and stopped him. Or at least stayed up with her that night and talked to her more. You’d made a huge mistake, but I knew you honestly cared for her.”
Jace put his head in his hands, his heart breaking for Evan all over again. He’d tried to sneak back into her room that night, apologize for the things he’d said, but she’d refused to open the window for him. Now he knew why.
“In the morning, there was a note tucked into my coffee mug. She told me she was sorry and for me not to be angry with you. She said she’d loved you and had wanted it to happen, but realized afterward that she’d made a mistake. She pleaded for me not to let your father kick you out for good—that you didn’t deserve to lose your family, not over someone worthless like her.”
His gut twisted. All those things he’d said to her that night and she’d still defended him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about the note?”
She took a deep breath, and set the cup down, the beeping on her heart monitor ticking up a bit. “Because it was a suicide note, honey.”
Jace’s breakfast threatened to come up. He gripped the arms of his chair.
“I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t let you bear that on your conscience if she had gone through with it.” She shook her head. “You made a bad decision, but Evangeline was a fragile soul. That night was simply the tipping point. We all could’ve handled things differently.”
“So all this time, you thought she was . . .”
“Yes. And I’ve never forgiven myself for what happened. It was my negligence that started that ball rolling.”
Yeah, maybe she had gotten the ball rolling but his stupidity and his father’s hateful words had dropkicked that ball over the edge. His jaw clenched, imagining how Evan must’ve felt when his dad had told those lies about him. “She ran away thinking I’d used her. That everything between us had been a lie.”
“Well, hadn’t it been?” said a voice from the doorway.
Jace jerked his attention to the door to find his dad leaning against the jamb, newspaper tucked under his arm. Apparently he’d been standing there long enough to follow the conversation.
“Don’t think I didn’t know what you were doing back then—the kind of crowd you were hanging out with, the types of parties you were going to,” he said, stepping inside the room. “You were cycling through women like a chain smoker goes through Marlboros. Evangeline wasn’t anything to you except another conquest. She was just so desperate for someone in her life to love her that she read what she wanted to in the situation. I was the only one who had the guts to tell that poor girl the truth.”
Jace had spent a lot of his life angry with his dad, but as he stood across from him right then, he realized that the anger had finally morphed into hate. “She could’ve killed herself.”
“And whose fault would that have been?” he asked, his voice as cool as the gray of his eyes. “Whatever that girl has been through since she walked out our door—and I guarantee you the street wasn’t kind to a kid like her—has been on you, son. Your fault. Because no matter what we’ve tried with you, you’ve always managed to be a fuckup.”
His mother gasped. “Bill! Stop it.”
His father’s words sliced through Jace like a jagged hunting knife, skinning him until everything inside him felt bloodied and raw. He couldn’t even form the words to respond.
His father made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat as he headed toward his mother’s bed. He tossed the newspaper onto the rolling table, knocking over his mother’s empty cup. “I got you your paper, Sherry. Seems our son is now set on humiliating us in front of the whole damn city.”
Jace’s eye caught one of the headlines on the page his dad had folded: Councilman Speaks Out Against Suggestive Ads by Local Sex Shop. A picture of both their local councilman and Jace’s store were included.
His father righted his mother’s cup and poured a glass of water like he hadn’t just ripped his son to shreds. He took a swig of the water, his back to Jace. “I thought if I was hard enough on you I could make you into a man, but all you continue to be is an embarrassment to this family. I’m ashamed to call you my son.”
His mother’s eyes were wide as she looked between the two of them. “Bill, take a breath. Let’s calm down.”
“No, don’t bother. Let me relieve you of your hardship, Bill,” Jace said, finally regaining his voice. “Because you don’t have to call me anything from now on. For all I care, you can tell people you’re the father of two.”
“Jason, wait,” his mother pleaded.
Jace stepped around the other side of her bed and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I love you, Ma. I’ll check on you later, but I can’t be around him anymore. I’m done.”
NINETEEN
