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God, how fucking lame. Who was this person? I didn’t act like this. I’d never lost my shit over a guy.
Maybe this was just how sex affected people. Maybe that’s why my friends got so insane when they were pursuing someone new. But somehow I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. Even though I’d been a virgin, I’d dated a few guys here and there. And the things I’d done with them had felt absolutely nothing like being with Foster. Everything seemed to be amplified with him—bathed in neon and pulsing color. I couldn’t turn off the desire.
I freaking craved him.
The sharp rap on my door made me yelp. I slapped my hand over my mouth, hoping to God he hadn’t heard that, and made my way to the door. After one, two, three breaths, I swung it open. All the oxygen I’d sucked in whooshed out of me. Foster stood there as disheveled as I’d ever seen him—black hair sticking up in a few places and falling over his forehead, a five-o’clock shadow turned full stubble, and his T-shirt wrinkled.
I’d never, ever wanted to touch someone so damn much.
“You should never open your door without the chain on, especially at night,” he said in a serious tone.
I blinked at the random comment, still breathless from the fact that he was really here. “I knew it was you.”
He stepped forward, filling up the doorway, and put his hands on my shoulders. “Always double-check.”
“Right,” I said, still a little foggy brained.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.” At that moment, I would’ve pretty much promised him anything—money, sex, my firstborn child—anything as long as his hands stayed on me and he kept looking at me like that.
He nodded and without another word, backed me up into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. His eyes devoured me in one long, sweeping glance.
Self-consciousness swamped me. “Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to change. I don’t really have anything that . . .” Is sexy. Worthy. Grown-up. “Isn’t this.”
“Hush, Cela,” he said, his voice like a warm gust in bitter winter. “Never apologize for how you look. I’ve spent two hours lying in bed, unable to sleep or cool off because I was imagining you on the other side of the wall looking just like this.”
“Sloppy?”
“Fuckable.”
“Oh.” My body went hot all over, his crudeness pressing some unknown button inside me.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. I got the sense he was reeling himself back in. “Sorry.”
“For what?” I whispered, my brain still humming from the previous comment.
“Never mind.”
Then I realized what he was saying. “Please. Don’t censor yourself because of me. I’m inexperienced but not innocent.”
He stepped closer and cupped the back of my neck, the firm touch sending branching bolts of awareness through me. “You are innocent, angel. More than you even realize because you don’t even know what you don’t know. But God help me if that doesn’t make me want to do really, really bad things to you.”
I swallowed hard, every nerve in my body standing at attention, begging him. “Show me.”
Something flashed in those blue eyes, predatory, but he hid it quickly and brushed a soft kiss over my lips. “Not tonight, angel. Tonight I want to show you what a first time should be like.”
FOURTEEN
Foster swept my legs right out from under me before I had a chance to process what he’d said. One second his lips were on mine, the next I was cradled against his chest, and he was moving toward my bedroom. His heartbeat was a hard, steady thump against my side—utterly calm—whereas mine was trying to crack a rib and tear through my chest.
He turned both of us in the hallway and pushed my bedroom door open with his foot. I’d left a lamp on and had hastily made the bed, but I still cringed, knowing there was a pile of dirty laundry in the corner and boxes waiting to be packed stacked against the wall. It definitely wasn’t an opulent setting like the room at the Hotel St. Mark. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to clean up.”
Foster’s gaze dipped down to me, amused. “First rule of first times—they usually occur in less-than-romantic surroundings. It’s part of the deal. But I love this room. Red. I never would’ve guessed you’d pick such a bold color.”
I smiled. “Maybe I’m more daring than you give me credit for.”
He set me down on the bed and cocked an eyebrow. “Angel, you went to a hotel room with two older, obviously demanding guys to lose your virginity in a threesome. I haven’t met a girl with more guts than that.”
