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She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. And I lost my virginity last week.”
“No,” he said, tapping a finger under her chin. “I mean, like this.”
She rolled to her side to face him, but before she could ask him what he meant, a trickle of warm fluid slid over her thigh. A rush of anxiety went through her. “Oh, shit.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
She swallowed hard, stealing herself for his reaction. When they’d discussed limits, she’d seen his expression at the thought of unprotected sex with her. And who could blame him? An unplanned pregnancy with someone like him could get a girl a big pile of cash. “We didn’t use a condom. Wyatt, I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it. And then everything was feeling so good, I kind of forgot. But I promise I’m on the pill and you’ve seen my medi—”
“Shh,” he said, brushing a thumb over her lip and catching a drop of blood there from his earlier bite. “I wanted you without any barriers this morning. And you told me you were protected from pregnancy. I trust you.”
His expression was so open, so relaxed and accepting that panic mainlined right through her veins. “Wyatt, what are you doing?”
“What?”
But she’d already seen the shift in him yesterday, the way he’d talked to her, held her. Tender. Caring. She’d thought it’d been part of the whole crazy day, an aftereffect of all that stress. And she could handle a lot. There wasn’t much he could do to her physically that she couldn’t deal with. But this—this could annihilate her.
She sat up, hugging a pillow to her chest. “Don’t do that. Don’t look at me like I mean something to you.”
He pushed himself upward, turning toward her on the bed. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course you mean something to me. You think I’m putting on a goddamned song and dance show for you? Why do you think I asked for more time with you yesterday?”Author: Roni Loren
“A month, Wyatt. Don’t give me the forever eyes.”
“Kelsey—”
“Don’t,” she repeated. Her throat went tight, and she wished he wasn’t so close. She couldn’t think with him staring at her with those naked blue eyes. “That’s not what this is. It’s not what it’s supposed to be. No romance, Wyatt. No sweet pillow talk.”
“I love you.”
“What?” The trap door fell right out from beneath her. She pulled her knees to her chest and pressed her forehead to the top of them, barely resisting covering her ears. No. No. No. “Don’t do this, Wyatt. Please. I can’t—”
He sighed. “You can’t, what? Handle it? Love me back? Deal?”
“You don’t love me. Don’t say that.”
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t feel, Kelsey,” he said, anger leaking into his tone as he reached over and grabbed for the robe he’d hung on the bedpost. “Believe me. This wasn’t my plan either. But I’m not going to sit hear and lie about how I feel.”
“Love? That’s bullshit and you know it. You barely know me. Yes, this week has been fun and I enjoy being with you. But we can’t do this for real.”
“Why the hell not?”
She looked at him, disbelief coursing through her. “You want to go through what we did last night every time you take me somewhere? Get those looks? I will never fit into this world. And even if you don’t see it yet, I’m just a shiny, new toy for you—something different and exciting. As soon as the novelty wears off, I’ll be the next Gwen. Only with a nice check in the bank so you don’t have to feel so guilty.”
A thundercloud crossed over his expression. “So this is what you’re going to do, Kelsey? This is your life plan—push away anyone who could care about you so you can’t ever get hurt?”
Her vision went blurry with tears. “You told me not to let you hurt me. You told me. This will hurt me. You said yourself you’re no good for me. I deserve better than becoming another Saturday night special. Don’t pretend that’s not what this would become.”
He scowled. “How the fuck am I supposed to know what this could become? But you’re not even willing to see where it could go? To feel whatever we feel and go from there? I care about you, dammit. Not just fucking you. Being with you. I’m old enough to know the difference. Are you?”
“I guess not.” She laced her hands behind her neck, still sitting in the fetal position, tears tracking down her cheeks. “I can’t do this.”
“You’re going to sit there and pretend you don’t feel something for me, too?”
“This is what I do, Wyatt,” she said, lifting her head and meeting his eyes, her heart splintering at his guarded expression. “I fall too fast. It doesn’t matter what I feel for you. Every time I’ve trusted my heart in my life, it led to nothing good. I’m addicted to relationships. And what you’re offering me right now is the like the biggest, purest dose of heroin I could imagine.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, but didn’t reach for her. “Baby, you are not that girl anymore. Your heart wasn’t telling you lies back then, the drugs and addiction were. Look at me.”
She forced herself to meet his eyes.
